


Battlefield

by ijustwantacue



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - War, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 22:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13511109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijustwantacue/pseuds/ijustwantacue
Summary: With no memories of how she got into the very middle of the battlefield, she struggles to find solace. Little did she know that solace has a name and it's General Im Jaebum.





	1. The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Italicised= fragments of memories  
> Blocked= flashback

****_If ever we get separated, remember this. Rule number one: Don't show fear._

Easy to say.

When you're surrounded by rubbles that you know used to be homes of happy families; when the air is filled of smoke and the scent of blood; when all you can hear are distant fires of gun and occasional shouts from who you can hope are on your same side; when you haven't had a decent meal for the past three days because everything is in chaos and you have to stay in out of plain sight or else they'll shoot you—the hardest thing for a normal person to do is to not show fear.

I'm alone, hungry, filthy, and scared. There's no use hiding that. If anybody sees me, the fear is as plain as the fact that this country is going down.

The sadder thing is I don't remember why I'm here. I don't even know who I am. I woke up under a collapsed house with minor wounds. Looking around, it seemed like the whole town had been bombed so I'd consider myself blessed by to just survive it. Aside from the fact that I don't remember a thing and I haven't seen a person, alive at least, from walking two days to find a decent shelter. My gratitude can't help but falter because of that fact.

I'm alone and scared in the middle of mayhem. That's what I'm sure of.

* * *

_Rule number two: Find a place to stay._

I look back to see how far I've gone but my eyes see a bloody trail ending by my feet. They're butchered. The debris might've cut them while I'm walking, but I'm numb from the different pains I'm feeling all over my body.

Basing from my clothes, I think I'm supposed to be wearing some cobbler specially made shoes. Though soiled and slashed here and there, I can see the high quality of the dress's cloth. I don't feel cold at night; I don't feel itchy even though I haven't taken bath for days. There were ruffles on the edge of my sleeves, which I ripped off because who needs aesthetic in this kind of place? Still, the dress appears to be tailor made for me.

But here I am now with bleeding feet and growling stomach, the origin of my clothes and my whole existence a mystery.

I move forward again while squinting to see through the heat waves. Looks like there's a building of some sorts coming to my sight. It's still as small as a dot but there's something that remained standing in the midst of the wreckage. I can't help but doubt if this is a mirage but it's not like my situation will get better if I ignore it.

I walk to it, now with renewed strength. I pass by a signage saying that this used to be the Palmera Village. In the back of my mind, something tells me that this where I'm supposed to go. Or maybe it's my common sense telling me that finally, I find the best possible place to stay.

Standing in front of the now identified building, a two-storey house, I can say that people who used to live here were well-off. Though damaged, some of the houses were able to withstand whatever has happened. I wonder if the people were evacuated safely before the anarchy started or if they are still here, waiting for rescuers.

Well, only one way to find out.

* * *

_When you find a house, don't ask whether there's someone in there. Just go inside. Shout that you're coming in. In moments like this, you don't need your etiquette. What you need is to appear in authority. Don't worry, they won't harm you._

I push the door open and wait for someone to jump at me. Thankfully, there's none.

"I'm coming in!" I announce though I do believe there's no one in.

I start pacing slowly. The interior of the house only proves my theory. The pastel wallpaper brightens up the place. The furniture are made of mahogany. They have a complete set of entertainment appliances.

I quickly go to the television set I spot. I almost slap myself for being stupid enough to think that there's still broadcast. But this is the only way I can find out what's happening. I'm sure there's at least a government mandatory broadcast to help people find solace.

Solace.

Why does that word make me feel hopeful?

The TV lights up and images of the evacuees appear. Families are huddled together but unlike how I thought they would be, they don't seem happy to be in safety. Some soldiers come into view and start intimidating the people with their weapons. I'm wrong then. They're not soldiers. Soldiers won't do that. They were trained to protect people, not threaten them.

Wait. Why do I know that?

"These are the captured citizens of the Capital. We are holding them in custody for an investigation of their propaganda regarding the princess," a man's voice announces as clips of the evacuees continue to appear. The voice is calculated, with enough danger and composure to make someone listen and follow.

An elegant woman's picture flashes on the screen next. This must be the princess mentioned, a woman who reeks of gentleness and propriety. Is she the reason of all of these?

"Everyone is insisting that she died from the explosions, but some informed us that they've seen people help her hide before the explosions started," the announcer continues, making me more confused. "If there are other information regarding that incident, or if you're still on the loose and want to seek independence once we've captured you, tell us where the princess is."

So the people helped the princess hide and the ones broadcasting wants to find her? Why would the governing body want to arrest her? And what's with addressing the viewers as on the loose? Are the people supposed to surrender to them?

Suddenly, my head feels like it's going to explode.

I run to the bathroom to find a medicine kit. The cabinets are empty. The family must've have taken it with them.

With no other way to ease my throbbing head, I splash my face with cold tap water and wipe it with the cloth I found. The water is a little dirty while the towel is full of dust. I shrug these off, no use being meticulous. There's no mirror so I'm not sure if I've cleaned my face well. At least the ache in my head eases.

* * *

_Now, you have to stay where you are once you've found a house. I'll come to find you no matter what. Find food and eat little by little. Water will be tricky but if there's dirty water, you can boil it so it'll be safe to drink. You know how to survive, right? You're a fighter. I know you can do it. You have to keep yourself safe until I find you. I promise, it won't take me long._

Luckily, the stove is still working. I start to look for food after I put the kettle on. The kitchen cabinets are close to empty; I only find some chips and jarred foods. I hope it's still good to eat but again, I don't have the privilege to choose.

I hoard my bounty and go back in front of the television. For some reasons, I'm waiting for something that I don't know. They keep on playing the same broadcast, pursuing the people to tell them where the princess is, in exchange of freedom after they've captured her and get whatever they want. I refuse to think all of it through again. I must have hit my head hard so my brain doesn't want to process unnecessary information. I can only think of these reminders of how to survive.

* * *

_If there's a television, turn it on. They'll surely follow me around to find you. We need a secret word. I'll say it when I think I find you so you can open the door._

The sudden change on the television's sound wakes me up.

"We are now in pursuit of General Im Jaebum who is suspected of knowing where the princess is," a new voice announces.

I sit up in full alertness. Something about the name mentioned makes my heart start to pound in nervousness.

"The government had held the both of them imprisoned but they managed to slip out with the help of an unnamed prisoner. The princess is still nowhere in sight but Im Jaebum has come out of hiding, possibly to look for her. Here's a live footage of what's happening."

He's looking for the princess all by himself. Either he's foolish or dedicated. Or madly in love with her.

The aerial footage shows just a dot of Im Jaebum. He doesn't seem to be carrying any huge weapon, unlike the rifle that the sniper on the side of the screen is holding. But they said he's a general. They're probably afraid to get closer because he's honed to battle.

"He's almost at Palmera Village. The houses there are still intact and that must be where the princess is hiding. Units has been dispatched to surround them."

So that must be why they're not shooting him yet. They want to find the princess through him.

Wait, did he just said Palmera Village? Aren't I on Palmera Village?

I watch intently as Im Jaebum walks towards the first house. The broadcasters try to get closer but they almost get shot. I didn't even see Im Jaebum move but he has fired a warning shot successfully. They helicopter is forced to maintain distance as Im Jaebum inches closer to where I am.

The knocks are expected but I still feel myself flinch. What should I do?

"He's knocking on the first house. We have to make sure that the princess is there before we shoot him. He's our only chance of finding her," the broadcaster says.

"Princess, are you in there?" Im Jaebum's voice from outside made me jump. I crawl to the stairs so I can run in case he suddenly barges in. His deep voice is urgent but I find myself breathing very slowly because of the tension I'm starting to feel. "Princess, I can hear the television."

I forgot to turn it off! What am I supposed to do now? He thinks the princess is here!

"Princess, listen," he orders so I find myself all ears even though it's not addressed to me. "You have to escape through the kitchen door. Run away and go to Wheatford Village next town. Jackson will be there waiting for you. I'll try to distract them so just keep on running, alright?"

I turn to the television. They are still showing Im Jaebum in front of my door but beside it, they also put a picture of him. I cannot emphasize how regretful I am. This is the man who is willing to go through lengths just for the princess to escape. He's right here but I can't do anything to help him. I'm a coward. I can't jeopardise my refuge just to tell him that I'm not the princess and his plan will fail. I just want all of this to end. I want to be alone again, instead of being surrounded by dangerous people.

"Princess," he calls gently and from what he looks like at the television, I never would've expected him to be capable of doing that. "Solace has come."

He enunciates each word clearly, as if he wants me to understand something. Solace means comfort or relief. Youngjae explained it to me when I read it from his book and it became my favourite word ever since.

Wait...

Youngjae.

I remember Youngjae.

I remember everything now.

* * *

 

> _"Your highness," JB meets me halfway._
> 
> _"What is happening, General?" I ask as we continue to where the soldiers are escorting me._
> 
> _He holds the small of my back to make me walk faster. His face looks grave. I've never seen him like this. He's always confident of our attacks and defences. "They are preparing to launch a missile. We have to evacuate you right now."_
> 
> _I find myself gasping. "Missiles? I thought the treaty has been signed?"_
> 
> _"They held Minister Park Jinyoung in captive. They want autonomy."_
> 
> _Park Jinyoung is the Minister of Internal Affairs. He came from a noble family as his father and forefathers are ministers for the previous kings and queens too. He is also my betrothed and so his capture is a big blow to us._
> 
> _The rebels don't just want autonomy. They are requiring us to give it in exchange for the future prince escort._
> 
> _"Then give it to them! We can't endanger our people," I order._
> 
> _We reach the end of the hallway. There's an escape route here that the royals are supposed to use in cases like this. The soldiers bow and leave us after making sure I've reached my way out._
> 
> _"It won't work that way. Once they get a hold of our borders, they'll work their way in. We have to show them that we won't back down. They said they planted bombs around the city. We're working on locating them."_
> 
> _"But they are launching a missile at us!"_
> 
> _I admit I'm not very knowledgeable at warfare but even if it's an idle threat, we should find a way to pacify the rebels. Launching a missile, even just threat of doing it, can cause chaos. Giving what they want is the best thing I can come up as solution._
> 
> _JB looks away, making me nervous. He never looks away from me. He's never afraid of telling me something._
> 
> _"No, Your Highness," he says carefully, "it is us who will launch the missile."_
> 
> _I hold onto the nearest object I find so I don't collapse. "What?"_
> 
> _"The king wants to eradicate all of them."_
> 
> _My father is a great warrior so he hates being challenged. The rebels' threat probably made him feel that they think he's feeble. I know about his harsh ways but I never thought he would go this far. I always find ways to persuade not to resort to violence or at least find an alternative that doesn't involve hurting people._
> 
> _"You agreed to it?" I ask in disbelief._
> 
> _"Of course I didn't! That's why I'm here to flee with you," he looks offended that I doubted his loyalty. But if my father has forsaken me, how can I trust anyone else?_
> 
> _And wait, did he just say flee?_
> 
> _"What?!" I look around. "You are disobeying the king?"_
> 
> _"I can't let you die."_
> 
> _My eyes start to water. I try not to think of it but that's the truth. When my father said he wants to launch the missile, he practically said he wants me dead. The code to the launch has been surgically put on my heart so that if ever my father thinks of killing people, he'll have to kill me first. There was never a record of a king killing her daughter. This must be the first one._
> 
> _I don't want to die. I don't want other people to die._
> 
> _I take a deep breath. Years of studying how to lead the country once my father retires has made me open to risk. "So what's the plan? We run away so my father won't kill me while rebels are attacking the city and would also probably kill me if they find me?"_
> 
> _The mention of me being killed makes his lips turn into a straight line. "That and more. Minister Choi Youngjae is still working on convincing your father that the missile is a bad idea. General Wang Jackson is working on something that can ensure our win on this. In the meantime, I need to get you out of here."_
> 
> _I hold his hand, giving him all my faith._
> 
> * * *
> 
> _We manage to flee from the palace. For two days, we stay in the city so JB can work on locating the bombs. On the third day, he confirms that there were no bombs at all but rather, the rebels are already in the city. They start creating chaos. We lead the evacuation of the civilians until they finally capture us._
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"JB, I'm scared."_
> 
> _They took us to the city hall, their current base. We're at the basement, huddled together in the darkness. I heard that they've contacted my father to offer me as bargain but my father refused. They are on an all-out battle at the castle right now._
> 
> _I feel JB's hands on my cheeks. Though rough with wounds from the tortures they put him, they are still my comfort zone. "It's okay. Look at me. Try to calm down and listen to what I'll say." I look at him and find his eyes even though it's dark. They show me the determination that I need to hold on to. "We're going to escape."_
> 
> _"How?" Is this a plan or a wish?_
> 
> _"One of the rebels, Bambam, is willing to help us."_
> 
> _My forehead wrinkles involuntarily. "Bambam? I think I've heard of that name."_
> 
> _"He was a helper in the palace when we were kids. He was thrown out because his father was a spy of the rebels."_
> 
> _Now I remember. Jackson tells me about him all the time. He worked at the kitchen, if I remember it correctly, while his father works on the gardens. I never really met Bambam but I did encounter his father once. I was at the garden, my favourite place in the palace, and he seized me._
> 
> _I don't want to judge, but he's the son of the man who almost kidnapped me when I was young. Thankfully, someone was quick to rescue me but my captor had fled, along with his son that. I remember Jackson sulking for months because he lost a friend._
> 
> _But I am not Jackson. I am not his friend. "Can we trust him?"_
> 
> _"I think so. He knows you and he knows this isn't right. He only came with them because he's afraid we will really launch a missile at where he lives. He doesn't want to hurt anyone and now that he knows you are against it too, he's willing to help us out. We have to take this chance."_
> 
> _I don't have a choice anyway. If we stay here, they'll continue torturing JB into saying our military plans. I also don't know what they're planning to do with me now that my father doesn't want me. Good thing they don't know about the code inside me. If they do, they would have me killed by now and get it for themselves._
> 
> _"How does it work?" I ask._
> 
> _"He'll offer to get me later for another round of torture. He'll come here and we'll use the keys to escape. He'll provide a map because he can't come with us."_
> 
> _That's a vague plan but maybe we can figure things out. "He'll be endangered once they found out he's the one who let us escape though."_
> 
> _"I guess we'll just hope his father is not as cruel as yours. His father is the leader of the rebels now and he'll be the one to punish him."_
> 
> _I suddenly tear up. The world is wretched. The daughter of the king is asking for the help of the rebel's son._
> 
> _"I'm sorry," JB lays my head on his shoulders, my sanctuary. It's always been like this. My thoughts can only calm down when I'm in his arms. "If ever we get separated, remember these. Rule number one: Don't show fear. In front of everyone, or anything, don't be intimidated. You are a princess and everyone is with you. You don't have to be afraid. You have the right to be but not in anyone's sight, except mine. If you waver, they'll break too. I'm the only one you can show your fear to because no matter what, I trust you. Even if you cry to me, I know you can walk up to fight for us again. I know how strong you are and they don't."_
> 
> _Of course. I grew up with him. He's been training to be the best general since he was young so he can protect me. We've seen each other's worst._
> 
> _I sit up straight to look at him again. "Okay. I'll be strong."_
> 
> _He keeps his hands on my shoulders. "Rule number two: Find a place to stay then apply rule one. When you find a house, don't ask whether someone's in there. Just go inside. Shout that you're coming in. In moments like this, you don't need your etiquette. What you need is to appear in authority."_
> 
> _"But I don't know how to defend myself."_
> 
> _"Don't worry, they won't harm you. You're the princess who worked on removing the caste system. Everyone will help you hide."_
> 
> _"Unless it's the rebels who find me."_
> 
> _"The rebels have this city hall as base. We'll try to get away from here as much as we can."_
> 
> _I sigh. This talk of getting separated is already breaking my heart. "Okay, then?"_
> 
> _"You have to stay where you are once you've found a house. I'll come to find you no matter what. Look for food and eat little by little. Water will be tricky but if there's dirty water, you can boil it. You're a fighter. I know you can do this."_
> 
> _"Will I find a safe house though? They're bombing us!"_
> 
> _"You will. They're trying to minimise damages because it will cost a lot to restore a country."_
> 
> _So the rebels are planning to overthrow the king. I don't understand. I've worked on removing the caste system so that they can have equal privileges. Is it not enough? Why do they need to do this?_
> 
> _And I think their leader is very knowledgeable. He even thought of what would happen after. They must've be planned this thoroughly. Will we survive this?_
> 
> _"Can't you just not leave me?" I try not to sound desperate. I never needed to plead for what I want but this time, I'll give everything just to keep being with him._
> 
> _"Of course, I'll stay with you. I'm just saying this in case," he wraps his arms around me again. I quickly let my body fall._
> 
> _"How should I know if you're near then? How long should I wait?"_
> 
> _"If there's a television, turn it on. They'll surely follow me around to find you. We need a secret word. I'll say it when I think I found you so you can open the door."_
> 
> _Since I was little, there's a word that I find very beautiful. It isn't even flowers or love. This word means something simple yet hard to obtain. I never knew a time would come when I will wish to hear that word from him. Because all those years being with him had always made me feel safe._
> 
> _"Solace. Say that solace has come so I'll know it's you."_
> 
> _He buries his face on my hair and whispers to me, "Okay, I'll do that. Promise me you'll do everything I said."_
> 
> _"Promise me you're going to find me."_
> 
> _"You know I always do," he says and kisses my forehead._

* * *

"JB!" I quickly go to the door when I get a grip. My thoughts of the escape are still a bit in disarray but I know what's happening now. He kept his promise.

"No! Don't come here! You have to escape through the back!" he says so I lean to the door.

"What do you mean? What about you?"

The plan is to open the door for him when he says the secret word. Why should I escape alone?

"I'll follow you. You have to go now. I'll distract them. Remember, go to the Wheatford Village and find Jackson. Tell him that 'The sun is down. Protect the moon.'"

"What does that even mean?"

He doesn't respond for a moment and I start to feel the tension in the air. "I can see the assassination team," he says in a grim tone. "You have to go."

I look at the TV and see that the front is surrounded. "There are twenty of them, B formation." He taught me things he learned in training except the physical ones. This is the only thing I can do to help. "There are three snipers. Take them down first. There are backups on the entrance of the village and after the sixth house. I don't know what you're planning but if you're going to surrender, do it before the backups come. I think they were ordered to kill, not to capture."

"The backyard is connected to the woods. Just go straight and don't look back," he orders in return. From the brief silent that follows, I can tell that he smiled. "We make a great team, don't we?"

I bite my lip. What kind of team always sacrifices the other? "How long will I wait for you?"

"Just stay with Jackson. He's the only one you must trust."

I nod even though he can't see me. "Alright, I will. Let's do this then. On the count of three?"

"Oh, be original, Your Highness. Let's do it now."

I would've scolded him because this is no time to be amused, but I hear his gunshot and use it as cue to run.

* * *

The sun is setting when I reach Wheatford Village. Unlike Palmera, the houses here are in complete ruins. Where can I possibly find Jackson?

"Your Highness?!"

I quickly raise the knife I got from the kitchen to stab whoever spoke. But when he comes into view, I feel all my adrenaline fade away. Thos he looks distraught, he still has the familiar gladdening aura. "Jackson, thank God."

"It is you!" Jackson quickly comes to me. He takes the knife I'm holding and throws it to the ground. "The last time I saw you, you were holding a fancy pouch. That suits you better than the knife."

"Oh, haven't you heard? Everyone wants the princess dead. A pouch won't keep me alive," I let him guide me to the ruins. I'm too exhausted to uphold my pride. I really need someone to lean on and thankfully, he's holding my shoulders.

"Everyone wants to find you, not kill you. Good thing you know where to go. Did the pill's effect wear out?"

Pill. Right. Before we escape from the city hall, JB made me drink a pill. He said it would help me focus on hiding. Is it possible that it gave me selective amnesia? Is that why I forgot everything except his instructions?

"JB found me but we got surrounded. He let me escape while he distracts them. He said I should tell you that 'The sun is down; protect the moon'."

Jackson stops on his tracks. He suddenly looks alarmed. "Did he say anything else, Your Highness?"

"He says you're the only one I can trust. Jackson, you're scaring me. What does that code mean?"

He looks at me with a sombre expression. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. He just sacrificed himself for you. He might not come back."


	2. The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text= flashbacks
> 
> POV: General Im Jaebum, JB

 

> _I can hear Jinyoung's call from the other side of the bush. He said I should wait here at the garden because he will introduce me to someone. There is no way I will do that willingly._
> 
> _"Jaebum? Your name is Jaebum?" a soft voice asks._
> 
> _I turn around and see a girl smiling at me knowingly. Light shines from behind her and I have to blink a few times to adjust. She is very beautiful. Though still young, the way her deep eyes sparkle makes me believe that she is very knowledgeable as she is curious about the world. And her smile. I have never seen someone smile so kindly._
> 
> _"Why are you hiding?" she asks, pulling me back to the present._
> 
> _"Shh!" I put a finger over my lip, signalling her not to use her silvery voice again, even though I want to hear it more. She suddenly sits down beside me and snuggles close, so that she can also hide on the bush._
> 
> _"Why are you hiding from Jinyoung?" she repeats in a whisper, her face going closer to mine so I can hear her. I find myself just telling her the truth._
> 
> _"He wants to introduce me to someone but the last time I met his friend, I went deaf for two days. I can't have another Wang Jackson screaming every five seconds."_
> 
> _She bites her lip to stop herself from giggling. "Oh, you've met Jackson? I actually like him. At least he's more cheerful than Jinyoung."_
> 
> _I shrug. "He doesn't know when to shut up though." Then I realise... "Wait, you know them both? How? I've been told that there are no girls here in the castle."_
> 
> _She purses her lips. "Yeah, there's only one girl so she ends up being around those boys everyday."_
> 
> _Yes. It's only the princess who can possibly know those noble kids and sons of generals so how come she... wait... "You mean... you're..."_
> 
> _She imitates my quiet gesture before standing up. She starts waving at someone from afar. I am doomed. "Jinyoung!"_
> 
> _How did I not recognise her? Of course, such beauty and tenderness belongs to a noble lady, a royal blood. I never thought I could meet her this way. I trained hard to be accepted as an esquire since I am interested in battles. The best people I thought I would be meeting are some generals. Not the princess. Not the sweet princess that everyone is curious of._
> 
> _"Your Highness!" I hear Jinyoung coming closer to us. Knowing him though, he will keep a respectful distance between him and the princess. I should probably ask him for a lesson or two. I was inches away from her earlier. I should be punished for that disrespect._
> 
> _"What's going on?" the princess asks a little too innocently. She knows that Jinyoung is looking for me so why is she acting this way?_
> 
> _"I'm sorry, but my friend seems to be missing. He probably got hungry and went to the kitchen. I even made you go out to meet him. I'm sorry, Your Highness."_
> 
> _"Is that so?" she says in feign disappointment. Hath Jinyoung told me I will be meeting his fiancée, I would not have pulled this prank!_
> 
> _Well, it is not yet late to apologise._
> 
> _"Shh, stay there..." the princess suddenly coos at... me when I move._
> 
> _"Um, Your Highness? What is it?" Jinyoung asks and even I give her a confused look._
> 
> _"Oh, I'm..." she looks at me, thinking, "actually playing with a cat."_
> 
> _Did she just actually lie with a straight face? And am I supposed to be the cat?_
> 
> _"A cat? I've never seen a cat here in the castle," Jinyoung is surely not buying it, smart fellow that he is._
> 
> _"Why don't you go to the kitchen to find your friend? I'll just play with this little fluffball," she makes a cute face at me and I just... Is she really the princess? Looking at her appearance, she surely is. But I never knew a princess can act this way. Shouldn't she be full of grace and elegance, never showing such teasing behaviour?_
> 
> _"Are you sure? If it's a stray and it scratches you, you can get—"_
> 
> _"No, no," she stops Jinyoung from taking any step closer. "I'm sure he's really nice and adorable." She turns to me again. "Right, little kitty? You're nice right?"_
> 
> _Is she signalling me to do something? What does a cat do? Uh... "Meow~...?"_
> 
> _She laughs aloud. She is really enjoying this. "Hear that? He is sweet. He understands me. Good little kitty~."_
> 
> _"Alright. I will get going then, Your Highness. I'll be taking Jaebum to the library when I find him so just go there if you still want to meet him," thankfully, Jinyoung doesn't like arguing to the princess._
> 
> _I hear him walk away but I do not want to go out yet. I might as well just stay here for the rest of my life. Me? Meowing? In the presence of Her Highness? This is a very embarrassing situation._
> 
> _She turns to me with eyes full of amusement. "He's gone. You can stand up now. You'll ruin your coat."_
> 
> _She does not seem to find this awkward at all. She gives me an encouraging smile while offering her hand to help me stand up. I hesitate to take it, but my leg fell asleep from crouching for a long time so I let her pull me up. And she's the princess. It is not like I have the right to defy her orders._
> 
> _"I'm really sorry, Your Highness. I didn't mean to be rude or anything," I say with my head bowed._
> 
> _"It's alright. I have not had this much fun in weeks with my lessons and all. You can lift your head, little kitty."_
> 
> _I wince at the epithet. "I would prefer it if you call me by my name, Your Highness. You can't call a boy 'little kitty'."_
> 
> _"But I'm a princess," she challenges but I can see right through her. No amount of fake intimidation can hide her personality._
> 
> _"But you're not a spoiled princess, right? You won't throw tantrums when people don't give you what you want." Cause if she is, she will not be this playful. I get that she is still a child but even my middle-class friends will not pull that joke._
> 
> _"Oh, you seem to know me well already," she says with an impressed smile. I have to stop myself from staring at her too much. "Alright, I'll call you JB from now on. Jaebum sounds like an old man's name."_
> 
> _"But—"_
> 
> _"You're not spoiled too, right? You won't insist on having things your way."_
> 
> _Well, it is just weird to have her call me differently from how I am used to. Why would she even give me a nickname? It is not as if I am going to be her friend. We are not allowed to be friends. She also will not enjoy my company at all, if ever we do become friends, because we live in a different world. She does not have to create a special name for me._
> 
> _But who am I to complain, anyway? At least it is better than little kitty. And how can I turn her down when she's looking at me like that?_
> 
> _I sigh. "Alright, you may call me JB. And yes, I'm actually a good follower most of the time. I only insist on my ways when I truly believe it is right. We seem to know each other well, Your Highness."_
> 
> _"Oh, don't call me that way when we're alone," she reaches out and I do my best not to step back. Turns out, I have a leaf on my head. Can I look any more embarrassing? "You can just call me by my name too. Let's be friends from now on, JB."_

* * *

 

The way the whip licks my skin does not bother me anymore. It has been days since they started this endless torture. I have been tied upside down, drowned on a drum of water under me, pulled back again to lash on my back. They keep on asking me the same question and I keep on giving them the same answer.

"Where is the princess?" the voice is adenoidal, my tormentor is probably more tired than I am.

I only smirk.

The whipping starts again and I count fifteen before a new face enters. Wait, he is not a new face at all. I have known him since we were kids.

"Im Jaebum, you can't keep this up. If we find her on our own, we will kill her right in front of you. If you tell us where she is though, well, we'd still kill her but at least you'll be dead already so you won't see it."

I start to shake. He is really a genius when it comes to mind games. I cannot believe I have been best friends with a snake for years. Hell, the king even liked him better for the princess because I am just a general, not noble-born like this bastard in front of me. My prince charming of a friend right here always reminds me not to worry, because he knows how much I love the princess and he has no interest in stealing her.

I laugh aloud. He looks at me as if I lost my mind but actually, everything just makes sense suddenly. He does not want to marry the princess because that will make him just a prince escort. He wants to be a king, the ruler of them all.

"You know how I hate being called by my full name," I manage to say though my throat feels like it is on fire. I have been starved and dehydrated for weeks, but I have no choice other than to endure it.

First, because the only source of water I have in this torture chamber is the one where they submerge me, so half of it is actually my own blood. Second, if the princess managed to endure days alone and scared in the middle of this chaos, I do not want to disappoint her by giving up in this mere play.

And most of all, I don't want to give this traitor the satisfaction he's aiming for.

"Drop the obnoxiousness, General. This is the best advice I can give you as a friend."

"A friend?" he makes me laugh again. He has never been this funny. "How about you try to say 'Please, JB' with a pout and a little wink, my dear friend? You might get what you want and more."

With irritation forming, he turns to the man who controls the rope on my feet. I have always known he has a sadistic side but back then, he could only bully the youngest trainee. This is the only chance for him to touch me helplessly, because if it were not for these bounds, I could kill him with my bare hands.

"Drown him," he orders in the flat tone he adopted from practicing how to order people around once he becomes the king.

"Be original, Jinyoung. You've been doing that for days but nothing—"

My brain automatically shuts down when my whole body falls on the water. I know I will run out of air in thirty seconds or so because I did not have the chance to inhale. My ears are completely deaf and my eyes are stinging. I am in the verge of unconsciousness and I know I am reaching my breaking point.

The air suddenly surges my lungs, and I choke the water out while helplessly dangling from the ceiling.

"Let's try again tomorrow, Jaebum," I feel him slap my cheek lightly, uselessly checking if I am responsive. I am coughing my lungs out already. Is he dumber than I thought? "Your friend can't help you escape anymore so I hope you change your mind."

He must be talking about Bambam. He is the real definition of friend, helping us by risking himself. What did you risk for me, Park Jinyoung? Why do you still call me a friend after stabbing my back?

"Just kill me," I say, like what I have been doing since this torture started.

* * *

 

> _"I... I want to show you something," she says as she lowers the zipper of the front of her gown._
> 
> _I gulp and look away. Is she... trying to...? We are teenagers so I am sure she is curious but I cannot possibly... "Princess..."_
> 
> _"No, it's okay, JB," she laugh a little. "It's not what you're thinking."_
> 
> _I know she will not lie but I am still not sure why she would show me a part of her skin that should be hidden to everyone except he betrothed. I turn to her with closed eyes first before slowly, I open them. I find myself widening them as much as I can when I see a long scar at the very centre of her chest. "You were... hurt?"_
> 
> _"No. I mean, yes, it did hurt, but I didn't get this from an attack," she zips up her gown. It probably took her great amount of courage to show it to me. "The ministers asked me a favour and this is the result."_
> 
> _I have been training to be a soldier and I have handled a sword. I have cut myself many times while practicing and it is no way comparable to that deep wound on her body. If my cuts stung, I cannot imagine how much pain she went through while doing that favour for the ministers. "What kind of favour is that? Why do they have to hurt you?"_
> 
> _"Hey, are you upset? It doesn't hurt anymore, I promise."_
> 
> _Yes, I am. I am angry and I want an explanation. I will not stop with her being okay. I should know how noble their cause is to make her undergo such pain. And I swear, if it doesn't reach my point of tolerance, I will end each of the ministers._
> 
> _She realises this. "Well, my father was really angry and he wanted to kill all the rebels, to the point of sending missiles at them. The ministers asked me to tell my father that it is not a good idea because it will endanger everyone's life, even the innocent citizens. But of course, he didn't listen. You know how he is when he gets stressed. Even I couldn't change his mind."_
> 
> _I have seen her father get angry a couple of times and it is very frightening even for the high-ranking officers._
> 
> _"So..." she continues, "one of the ministers had an idea. They had me undergo a surgery. The doctors put the code to the missile launch on a cavity in my heart so if my father wants to kill the people, he'll have to kill me first."_
> 
> _What?_
> 
> _What does that even mean?_
> 
> _She underwent surgery that could have killed her so she can protect people? And if her father goes crazy and decides to wipe out the country, she'll be the first one to go? The ministers suggested that?! Are they out of their mind?!_
> 
> _"JB...?"_
> 
> _"I'm so sorry," I blurt out. I cannot find the words. I feel so useless._
> 
> _The girl in front of me is already doing so much and here I am, unable to comfort her at least. I want to kill them for hurting her but how can I? I am not even a full pledged soldier yet. I do not have the capability to protect her and the position to interfere such inhumane plans of the ministers._
> 
> _"What? What are you sorry for?" she asks with a bit of laugh. How can she laugh?_
> 
> _"I'm sorry you have to go under such pain. I... I don't know how to help you," I admit with complete disappointment at myself._
> 
> _"Don't be silly. It is part of my duty as a princess. Besides, you are already helping me with just being my friend. You're the only one I can tell this secret to because I trust you."_
> 
> _She... trusts me? Just me? "You mean... even Jinyoung won't know about this?"_
> 
> _"Of course not. Jinyoung always acts smarter than me so it'll be great to know something that he doesn't know for once."_
> 
> _But Jinyoung is her fiancé. They will get married soon. He will know about this anyway. Why would she wait for the ministers to tell this to her prince escort when she can tell it to him herself?_
> 
> _"What are you thinking?" she wonders while staring at me with her doe-like eyes._
> 
> _"Thank you," I breathe out._
> 
> _"What for?"_
> 
> _"For trusting me this secret. It's an honour, Your Highness."_
> 
> _She giggles. "Stop it with the Your Highness thing. We're not in front of anyone."_
> 
> _"Still, right now, you just made me realise how sincere you are in making sure that the country is safe, even from your own father. I admire you very much."_
> 
> _I see her eyes go wide and her pretty lips even part a little. She quickly fixes herself though, as she is trained to appear confident all the time. Her eyes narrow teasingly. "You're not about to confess your undying love for me, right?"_
> 
> _"Unfortunately for you, no," I tease back. "But in exchange, I promise that I will do my best to become someone who can protect you in the future. When I've made sure that nothing can harm you anymore, then you'll get your confession."_
> 
> _She scoffs but keeps an amused smile. "Why does it sound like I'm the one benefitting from that?"_
> 
> _"Well, one," I take her hand. "I'm taking you away from smart-ass Jinyoung."_
> 
> _"Ah, good point."_
> 
> _"And two," I put her hand to my lips and kiss it lightly, "you're going to have a prince escort, a knight-in-shining-armour, and a loyal friend beside you all the time. Isn't that what girls want?"_
> 
> _She gives me an appreciative smile but of course, it turns cheeky right away. "No, actually, right now, this girl wants a pudding. Come on. Let's go to the kitchen. I didn't even say I'll accept your confession, idiot."_
> 
> _And with intertwined hands, we walk away from the bush full of memories._

* * *

 

"General Im, it's me. Bambam."

I slowly come into consciousness. My eyes feel swollen, but I try my best to open them. Bambam is the one who helped us escape here once so I am relieved to know he is alive enough to talk to me. I owe him our lives.

"I've asked the men to untie you but I'm sorry, I couldn't bring you food or anything. They probably think I'll poison you so they won't find out where the princess is."

"That's—" I wince when I finally feel my bloody back leaning against the cold wall. "—actually a great idea."

"No, General, that's stupid. I can't kill a person," he crouches so our eyes level.

I shake my head at him. "You won't remember that virtue when the love of your life is about to die in front of you."

"Oh, good thing I don't love anyone then."

I cannot help but chuckle. Such innocence and witty retort reminds me of her. How is he here though? I thought he would be punished for what he did for us but he seems fine. "Jinyoung mentioned you earlier. He said my friend can't help me again so I thought something happened to you."

"But isn't Minister Park your friend? I don't want to be categorised with a traitor like him."

Now I am really laughing, though I start coughing soon enough because of my burning throat. "I'm getting convinced that you're the mastermind of this war, Bambam. You're a genius."

He sighs. These rebels cannot handle my stubbornness, I see. "General, I'm here to tell you that Minister Choi Youngjae came just now to propose something."

My laughter dies away. Youngjae. I cannot help but feel relieved that he is alive yet nervous because he came here. He is the only other person I trust aside from Jackson. I do not think he will be blinded by power like Jinyoung. "What is it? Did he talk to the king?"

"He said he did but the king was adamant about the issue. We already have his castle and we basically control the whole country but he just won't let go."

I shake my head. That is where the princess got her stubbornness. I am glad the princess knows when to stop though. Her father is too blinded by power to see when to cave in.

"So," Bambam continues, "instead of making futile attempts to change the king's mind, he went to my father instead. His idea was... the best for everyone but... it may not be the best for you."

The way he carefully chooses his words makes me think of the worst cases. "Does his plan involve chopping my head off?"

"No, thankfully, it's less bloody than that," he mutters.

"Then say it! The suspense is killing me more than these wounds!"

Bambam takes a deep breath. I am ready to hear this brilliant plan of Youngjae's but instead of speaking, Bambam goes to the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask but he does not look back. He opens the door and waits for someone to enter.

As soon as the silhouette appears, my mind flashes back to the time I realised I will give my life for her.

* * *

 

> _"Your Highness," I say after finally making my way to the middle of the ballroom. She quickly steps back from Jinyoung, as if she has been caught doing something forbidden. "Jinyoung," I address her fiancé who is giving me a curt smile because we are in front of many nobles. "Can I steal the princess for a song?"_
> 
> _"You can have her until I return. I'll just talk to some ministers," Jinyoung says, knowing full well that the princess and I need to talk._
> 
> _"Your Highness?" I ask for her permission now._
> 
> _She nods mutely._
> 
> _Jinyoung gives me her hand that he has been holding before bowing at us to take his leave. I look at her as she delicately places her other hand on my shoulder. I do my best to hold her lightly but I just cannot control it. My hand goes to the small of her back and I want to pull her as closer to me as I can._
> 
> _We start swaying to the sound of violins. She taught me how to dance before, during one of our secret meetings in the garden. This is the first time I am glad I endured that training. I would not be able to talk to her this close if I do not._
> 
> _"Congratulations on officially being a general," she says just by my ear and it makes me shiver. Her acknowledgement is all that matters but saying it in this situation does not seem fulfilling at all._
> 
> _"Congratulations on your engagement as well," I try to say it nonchalantly but the sadness betrays me. I know she will notice it too._
> 
> _She pulls back a little so she can look me in the eye. "I don't want to be rude but I won't give you a thank you."_
> 
> _"That's alright. Your thank you would've insulted me," I sigh. I cannot help but be relieved that she does not like the situation any more than I do._
> 
> _"So what's the plan?" she leans on me again, just right above my heart. "We run away?"_
> 
> _"The country needs you, Your Highness. You cannot leave the people. You are the only one the king listens to. With you gone, he'll probably just bomb the cities."_
> 
> _She pulls away again. She stops us from swaying to say such rare words. "Then you can't leave me. I need you."_
> 
> _She does not. She is a princess. Everyone will do everything for her. Even the king can control his bloodlust by her mere words. She does not need me at all._
> 
> _"I have to be in the front lines fighting the rebels. Remember, I promised to protect you," I reason._
> 
> _Now she gets more upset. "And you promised to be beside me."_
> 
> _"I will always be. You are going to be the queen and I will be leading an army to protect you. I'll always be standing on your left since Jinyoung will be sitting on your right." It hurts to even think about it but I just have to put it there._
> 
> _"But I want it to be you."_
> 
> _She never looked this helpless._
> 
> _From her body, I move my hand to her head. I put the stranded hair away from her face so she can see me clearly. She leans to my touch so I stay holding her cheek, caressing it softly with my thumb. "Well, we can't always have what we want. And we're not the type to whine when things don't go the way we want, aren't we?"_
> 
> _"No. We've always been good followers," she answers almost instinctively. That has always been our virtue before. But then, she touches my hand to stop my movements and when she looks at me, her eyes are full of brand new conviction. "But now it's time we fight for what we want."_

* * *

I didn't even realise that she has already reached me. Her face is as beautiful though weary. I want to slap myself and get out of this hallucination but who am I kidding? If I am losing my mind, then I am thankful it is her image I see.

"Sunsets are supposed to be beautiful. This isn't what I expected when you said that the sun is down," she whispers but since it is only the two of us in this room underground, it is as if she shouted it. "I'm sorry you had to go through this."

I want to pull her into my arms, hold her face, and kiss her. But my hands are bloody as the rest of my body is and I don't want to ruin the only pure thing in this room.

"What are you doing here? I told Jackson to protect you. How come you're here?" I ask worriedly. This is what the rebel wants. What will happen now?

I have decided not to touch her but here she goes, doing it to me anyway. She does not even care if her hands get dirty. She strokes my cheek softly, as if to calm me down. "Jackson and Youngjae are with me. So are our men. I am fine and you will be fine. You'll be getting out of here after we talk."

"After we talk? Why?"

Now she pulls her hand back. She looks at me warily and I know she is trying to find the right words to say. I really hate it when people do this.

"Why did you come here with Jackson and Youngjae? What was the proposal that Bambam mentioned earlier?" I ask her directly so she can start explaining.

She takes a deep breath. "Youngjae... couldn't convince my father to just give what the rebels want. So... he went to the rebel's leader instead. Together with Jackson, they came up with a plan that can stop all of this."

That is what Bambam said earlier. "And that plan is?"

"The leader of the rebels doesn't know anything in leading a kingdom and honestly, all he really wants is autonomy of their region. So we will give him that. They agreed to retreat to the southern part of the country once the king announces it."

"But your father will never agree to that," I remind the obvious.

"Yes," she takes a deep breath, "that's why they'll make the queen say it rather."

"Your mother passed away giving birth to you," now I am reminding her carefully. She seems to be confused. There is no queen and there will not be a queen unless she herself gets... wait... "You don't mean..." I look into her eyes to see if she understands what this sounds to me. She does. That is exactly what she is saying. "But... how?"

"I'm of legal age," she answers simply. Of course, she is eligible to reign now but there are still a lot of things to consider. "If my father won't pass the crown to me willingly, the rebels might... do something about it."

They will kill him. "You accept this?"

"Honestly, if this makes everything okay, then I'll do this. I am willing to have my father's blood in my hands. He is not a good person; he is not a good ruler. He is willing to kill his own daughter to eradicate his people. There could have been better ways to solve the rebellion. He only enraged the people with his decisions so now, we don't have a choice."

I am both proud and concerned. I know she cares deeply about the people but can she handle this? "Do you fully understand what this means? You are going against your father. This is a burden you will carry for the rest of your life."

"I can't let my people die from this war. If there is something I can do, then I will do it. I will do this."

"But what if this is a trap? You are dealing with the same people who hunted you down. Who tortured us."

She looks down my body and her eyes turn glassy. I do not want her to feel bad for what I have been through but she has to understand that those people are not afraid to kill. What is to assure that they will not hurt her? That this isn't some trap?

"They wanted to find me so my father won't be able to get the missile code in my heart. The torture... I am really sorry Jaebum. This was all Jinyoung's idea," she says carefully. She probably thought I did not learn about that bastard. "Even the leader of the rebels is against it because there's no point. They just have to let Jinyoung do what he wants since they owe him big. He had envied you ever since and this is probably how he could only get back to you."

I am in utter disbelief at his pettiness. I can see that the princess herself is very angry even though she is trying to explain things to me calmly. "Why would he envy me? He is a noble; I am just a commoner. While he is being raised with a silver spoon on his mouth, I have to help my parents earn money for the day's meal. He is even your betrothed, a minister, the future king. The best thing I can be to get close to you is a general. What do I have that he doesn't?"

"Me," she says that one word with the most heartbreaking smile I have ever seen. "Jinyoung never had me. Even before, when I am with him, it is you I want to be with. And he knows that."

So he's in love with her. I never knew.

"And he thinks torturing me changes how we feel?" I almost laugh at the stupidity of it.

She looks away, making me stop from being amused. "That's not his only plan."

"What do you mean?"

"JB," she says softly while she takes my hand. She carefully traces it, avoiding the cuts here and there. "You know the rules of the kingdom. The crown will be passed on by the previous ruler to the next only if the prince or princess is married to someone."

Yes. That is one thing to be considered. So why—

She is not marrying Jinyoung, is she?

She looks at me full of guilt and I feel my heart ache more than any of my bleeding injuries. I do not even know what to feel first. I am mad, shocked, and upset.

"Why does it have to be him?" I could only ask.

"He helped the rebels get in the city. He and his father had planned everything up to this point. The rebels trust him so they will honour the agreement if I marry him. Isn't it funny? The rebels will go away but in the end, we will still be under a tyrant," she says, disbelieving how things turned out too.

"Wait, I don't get it. He was already set to marry you before all of this. Why does he have to help the rebels just to marry you this way?"

"Because this way, he knows we can't get away. Before, I can talk to my father and fight for us. I could have changed things. He knows that very well. Now, doing that would mean I am being selfish and my people suffer. I have no choice anymore but to really marry him."

"No." I suddenly feel the urge to not let her go. I hold her shoulders tightly. "No, you can't do this. We promised."

She does not look away but it is harder to see her unwavering eyes. "I have to. There's no other choice."

"There is. There has to be. You can't betray me like this."

"The clouds are swallowing the moon, JB," she says meaningfully. The clouds are her responsibilities, keeping her from lighting up the sky. "But the sun still has to rise later."

She wants me to accept this? To go back to normal? So she was promised my freedom after we talked? How can I feel free when she will be the one trapped in Jinyoung schemes? I cannot leave her. I cannot let things end like this.

But she stands up to leave me herself.

"Then wait for me, Your Highness," I quickly call out. She does not take any step further, letting herself listen to my last words. "The Lunar Eclipse exists for a reason. We can shine through the clouds together. Wait for me."


	3. The Cloud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text= flashbacks
> 
> POV: Park Jinyoung, son of Minister Park and Lady Yoon, Minister of Affairs, Betrothed of the Princess and Future Prince Escort

> _"This is the son of Minister Park and your prince escort in the future. His name is Jinyoung," the king says with his stoic face. From there, I look to the little girl in front of me, mirroring his blank expression. It must be a family trait or some royal responsibility to learn not to show any emotions. I should try to adapt it._
> 
> _"Pleasure to meet you, Your Highness," I tell the princess while offering a handshake._
> 
> _She looks at my hand then my face. Then she looks up to her father with a confused expression. Does she know how to shake hands? Or am I the wrong one for offering? Should I just bow to her? But I'm her betrothed._
> 
> _"What's a prince escort?" she asks innocently._
> 
> _I put down my hand. She's six years old. Of course, she wouldn't understand it. My parents have explained it to me and I knew about this engagement ever since. I never had the chance to have an opinion about it since it's something I can't change no matter what anyway. Me having to marry the princess is just like knowing that the sky is blue._
> 
> _"You'll marry him in the future so you can inherit the throne," the king explains, not thinking that his daughter might be too young to know what it means. Maybe she's a fast learner though? She's a princess. She's already studying about the kingdom at this age._
> 
> _"What does 'marry' mean?"_
> 
> _I stop myself from letting my blank face falter. It's hard because she's endearing. I may be young myself but I've learned to appreciate undeniable things. She, on the other hand, seems really clueless about our situation._
> 
> _The king takes a deep breath to stop himself from getting irritated. I understand that he's under stress from running the kingdom without a queen to help, so he doesn't have the patient to explain everything to her daughter. When I become the prince escort, I'll make sure to spend time with our future princess and to give her all the patience and understanding I can. Same goes if we're to have a prince. I'll make sure he grows up with love and respect for his mother and bravery to lead his kingdom._
> 
> _"To marry means to live together for the rest of your lives," the king finally says, confusing the princess yet again._
> 
> _She stares at me, examines my face with her bright, curious eyes. I try to remain emotionless so that I can fit to their family of nobleness. It's hard because even though I've only met a few girls on my age, she seems to be so different. Maybe it's because she's a princess locked up in her castle, but she looks very radiant. She looks soft and gentle; I won't ever dare hurt her._
> 
> _"Do you like flowers?" she asks with her head tilted and eyes blinking._
> 
> _"Huh?" Do I like flowers? Weren't we talking about marriage right now? What does that have to do with marriage? Is she planning the wedding already?_
> 
> _"You don't?" now her forehead is creased, as if I just told her the most unbelievable thing in the world. She turns to her father who is barely looking at us. "I don't want to marry him," she says with no hesitation, making me widen my eyes. Wait, can she do that? Is it possible to cancel the engagement because I didn't answer her? "Can I marry Youngjae instead? It's fun playing with him because he lets me put flower crowns on his head."_
> 
> _I look at the king to see if he'll snap at her but he just shakes his head. "You can't marry Youngjae and you have no say in this anyway. I'm your father so listen to me because I'm doing the best for you and for the country. Just try to get along with him. I've already promised Minister Park that I'll engage you to his son if he helps with the rebels. He did a good job."_
> 
> _The princess looks at the floor. I don't think she understands the situation fully but she does know that her father is getting annoyed._
> 
> _"I have things to do so I'll be leaving you here. Park Jinyoung," he addresses me so I quickly give my full attention. Though I find it weird that he uses my full name. I don't have the right to complain so I just listen, "you'll be staying here for a week every month to get to know the princess. If you need anything, we have attendants everywhere."_
> 
> _"Thank you, Your Grace," I answer as taught by my father. Your Grace is for the king. Your Majesty is for the queen, though she died giving birth to the princess. Your Highness is for the prince and princess. Any high officials must be called a lord or lady. The princesses, and everyone else, should actually call me Lord because I'm the son of the minister. But it's not like I'm doing something worth of the title anyway, except that I'm obliged to marry the princess._
> 
> _"Then if I have to marry him," the princess points at me. She's asking sweetly now, probably to plea for the last time. She must've thought of a condition. "Can I marry Youngjae next? The castle is big. We can all live together."_
> 
> _"Enough!"_
> 
> _The princess flinches at the king's sudden outburst. She quickly bows her head again. "I'm sorry, Daddy."_
> 
> _"Don't address me like that. It should be 'Your Grace'," he says with a cold tone._
> 
> _"I'm sorry, Your Grace," the princess says meekly. She looks so scared. Does the rule of names apply even to princesses and prince? Can't they call the king and the queen as Mom or Dad?_
> 
> _When I got invited to the palace, my parents told me not to mind the king's apathy because it is the result of losing his wife. I didn't expect that he will be hostile to the princess too. I'm not going to be a king because I'm not of royal blood. I'm going to be a prince escort instead, the wife of the future queen. But either way, I don't want to be like the current king. I don't want the future princes or princesses to fear me._
> 
> _"Will you play with me?"_
> 
> _I look at the princess and with the king gone, she's back to her inquisitive mode. She's a child so I understand her craving for enjoyment. But she's a princess. She's going to be the queen. I have to help her learn things and prepare herself to lead a country. Maybe we can avoid this kind of situation with her father if she learns how to talk to him respectfully too. It's my duty as her betrothed to help her._
> 
> _"Your Highness, I think it will be best if we go to your lessons first. You can play later," I say carefully, not wanting to make her cry if ever she's actually used to getting whatever she wants. My parents told me things about the king but no one really knows anything about the princess._
> 
> _"I'm done with my lessons for today. I know which spoon or fork to use for which meal is served," she says proudly. So she's studying etiquette._
> 
> _"But you don't know what 'marry' means?" I challenge._
> 
> _She huffs. "It means living together for the rest of your life."_
> 
> _I shake my head and fight back a smile. "That's just what the king said earlier."_
> 
> _Her forehead creases. "Then are you saying he lied to me?"_
> 
> _"No!" I quickly answer, not wanting to lose my head for badmouthing His Grace. "It's just that... there's a better explanation about getting married that will make you understand why he wants you to take it seriously. It's not simply living together."_
> 
> _Her eyes turn to slit as she looks at me apprehensively. Maybe she's not used to be treated this way. "Then you wait here. I'll ask Youngjae what it means in exchange for my special sunflower crown."_
> 
> _I want to tell her that I can teach it to her instead. She's been mentioning this Youngjae and I think they are pretty close. She shouldn't be close with another man. She'll marry me in the future. It will complicate things._
> 
> _But she stomps her feet and starts walking away before I can stop her. I watch as she walks in hurry, accidentally stepping on her gown and falling to the ground, face first. Before I can take a step to help her up, she's already standing again._
> 
> _She glares at me. "Don't tell anyone about this!"_
> 
> _I nod without second thoughts. I want to tell her that part of getting married to her is that we're going to be each other's confidante, keeping our deepest secrets to ourselves. But she's too young to understand it anyway. Maybe soon, I can prove to her that there's no need to threaten me. Her secrets are for mine to keep._

* * *

I wanted to do a lot of things for her, for us to be in a better position. But now, everything I did seems to be selfish. I know. I hate myself for doing those too. But it's the only way I know to end this chaos and finally, fulfil our parts.

"You're a liar," she says as if it's the most obvious fact in the world.

"No," I sip the wine from my goblet. "I just didn't tell you about it because you never asked me."

She shakes her head in disbelief. Neither of us is eating even though they prepared a feast for us. The ceremony is tomorrow so today, they're letting us open up to each other. Funny because we've never been that close to open up, much more impossible in the situation now.

"How can I ask you if you love me when I don't even see you as capable of loving?"

I purse my lips. Suddenly, the wine tastes bitter. I know how little the princess thinks of me. I'm just the fiancé she never chose. I wouldn't mean anything if I wasn't that. I know. "I was always there, Your Highness. I was there even before Im Jaebum was. I may not be as forward as him but I've loved you in the best way I can. It's just lost in translation."

"So forcing me to marry you is a way of showing your affection towards me?"

"No, of course not," I put my goblet down. "This is me letting go of my feelings for you and finally thinking of myself. I'm done getting pushed around then pretending not to be hurt. This time, it's my turn."

Instinctively, I find myself catching the knife she swiftly threw at me. It flew just a few inches away from my face and I feel my palm sting from suddenly stopping it.

I look at her and even though she tries to remain fierce, her eyes show concern. She's still the innocent princess from my memories. She may not like me even a bit right now but she can't stand seeing someone get hurt.

"I thought you long finished your etiquette lessons. This isn't how you use a knife," I take my napkin and wipe the blood on the blade before using the same cloth to cover the cut on my hand. It's not that deep but I should put pressure to stop it from bleeding.

"What will you get from this, Jinyoung?" she seems to be giving up, seeing that I'm unfazed. "I won't love you."

"I know," I try not to make it sound like I'm hurt. I am. But she can't know. No one can know. My secrets are all for me to keep, even if this marriage forgoes. "But you won't be with him too. I won't feel so betrayed."

"Betrayed?" she suddenly laughs and even though it is to mock me, I'm glad I can be amusing to her for once. "When did we ever betray you?"

She's the amusing one most of the time.

* * *

 

> _"Where is she?" I ask Youngjae when I find him alone at the library. The attendants told me that I would find the princess here._
> 
> _"I thought she's with you. She's always at the garden," he looks up from his book. He has the same naive eyes as the princess._
> 
> _"But I haven't been here since last month..."_
> 
> _"I don't know, Jinyoung. Maybe she's with Jackson or Jaebum."_
> 
> _Sometimes, I hate the fact that there aren't many girls in the castle. The princess is forced to spend time with boys her age. They are my friends too but I can't help but compare myself to them. They can comfortably hang out with the princess while she only spends time with me when she's required._
> 
> _"Alright," I say before dashing to the garden._
> 
> _After years of visiting the princess, I've memorised their home. I know which places she possibly could be if we play hide and seek. Not that we always did when we were kids anyway. I remember being forced to play thrice or so. We don't do it anymore though because we've grown up and received duties that require our full attention. She has lessons about how to run the kingdom in the future while I study under my father because before the princess takes me as a prince escort, I have to serve as a minister first._
> 
> _I slow down when I arrive at the giant arc entrance of the garden. I see the bushes of flowers upon entering and also the entrance to the labyrinth, the only place I haven't really explored. The princess wouldn't go there; I know she's scared of what's inside of it too. Since I can't see her here, maybe she just used that alibi to Youngjae but she's probably went to the kitchen to sneak out sweets._
> 
> _"No way!"_
> 
> _"Shh!"_
> 
> _I look back to find where those voices came from. The first one is the princess, no doubt. She seems to be shocked about something. The second one is a mere shush so I don't know who it is._
> 
> _"Your attendants will find you so let's stay quiet. Anyway..." I don't even understand the rest of the words because a lot of questions are flooding my mind._
> 
> _That was Jaebum. Why is she with Jaebum? Where exactly are they? Why are they hiding? Have they been meeting each other here for quite some time? Are they close? Is it only Jaebum? Does she meet with Jackson too? Does she like them more than she likes me? The last one is pretty obvious but I have to have a special place in her heart since she knows she'll have to marry me._
> 
> _I can't say that I'm friends with the princess. I realised that I made the wrong approach to her. I should've been a friend instead of an instructor. I can't take back the years we spent making remarks about how wrong the other is. I had planned to start showing her that I can be bubbly too but with this new knowledge, I don't know what to do anymore._
> 
> _"Why do we always meet here at the garden anyway? We can hang out with Youngjae at the library or sneak in the pantry and eat food. Don't say you don't like that," I hear Jaebum ask after he finished his funny story. I follow his voice as he talks and finally figure out which bush they are hiding at. I think this is where the princess found a stray cat before, a bush of white roses._
> 
> _"I'd like that too but I always do that when you're not here so it will be fun to come here at the garden instead. This is the exact place where I first met you, little kitty, so it would be great if I actually get to meet you here everytime."_
> 
> _Little kitty? Why is she calling him that?_
> 
> _"I already let you call me JB. Forget about that little kitty. And how can you meet me here everytime? When you become the queen, you can't meet me in secret anymore."_
> 
> _Yes, that's right. She's going to be my queen. This can't keep up. I understand that we're young and she might be interested in Jaebum but she knows for a fact that she will marry me. She has to let this go._
> 
> _"That doesn't mean I'll forget about you, that I'll forget how I met you. So I'll always be visiting this garden, hoping you will show up and hold my hand like what you did before."_
> 
> _The garden is a special place for me because this is where we were first introduced. I never knew it will be important to her too, but it wasn't me that made it memorable for her._
> 
> _When we first met, she wanted Youngjae than me because I don't like flowers. I spent the next months learning all about plants and flowers. On her seventh birthday, I took her to a greenhouse full of plants I took care of. I knew she was liked it but that was the first and last time she came there. I'm still taking care of the plants until now. That's where I spend the time I should be spending with her since she chooses to be with someone else._
> 
> _When she was nine, I introduced her to Jackson. They instantly clicked. Jackson is fun; he is everyone's bestfriend. I understand how she can get comfortable around him after just a couple of days more than how she has been with me the past years. I just can't help but feel left out. I want her to laugh at my jokes too or compliment me for something else rather than my intelligence. Jackson and Youngjae always make her happy._
> 
> _Jackson introduced us to a friend he met at the kitchen. His name is Bambam and he's the youngest among us. The princess instantly adored him. At the age of ten, she learns how to make clothes so she can give a tunic to Bambam as birthday gift. I never received anything from her for my birthday. She greets me and we celebrate with a dinner with our families. I keep on reminding myself that the mere fact she stands and sits beside me throughout the celebration is something I should be thankful for. But when the day ends, she goes back to avoiding me. It was all done out of responsibility._
> 
> _Everything changed for the worse when he met Jaebum—no, he now goes with JB because that's what the princess calls him. Who would've thought she will completely change at the age of eleven? She's no longer the little girl I look after. She knows things better than I do because she makes an effort to learn a lot and tell Jaebum about them. He brought out the best in her and though I should be happy, it also means that I lost the girl who I accepted to be with forever._

* * *

"You're a liar," he says as if it's the most obvious fact in the world. Oh, how well they fit.

"We both know things wouldn't have changed even if I told you. You don't have to comfort me by saying I had a chance."

"I wasn't planning to."

Right after he was released, Jaebum asked for permission to talk to me. We don't need him anymore so he's free to be a spectator at my wedding with the princess tomorrow. I never would've betrayed a friend like this but he's the one who stole her from me in the first place. I'm only fulfilling my duties.

"Good. If someone couldn't see how much you love each other, how much you need each other, they are most likely blind. That's why you can't blame me if I stayed silent. I know I don't have the chance to win that time."

"So now you think you will?"

"I already did. There's nothing you can do to make her back out. This is for the country."

I've never seen him this shaken. Among the two of us, he's the confident one. He knows his job and he does it well. I can never be as good of a soldier as he is but it's not like he can be a good minister like I am. The princess needs someone to help her run the kingdom. She already has an army to protect her.

"I can't believe you did this, Jinyoung. How long have you been planning this?"

Finally, someone's curious of my real agenda. The princess is quick to conclude that I'm trying to ruin her life. "Do you remember Bambam?"

His forehead wrinkles. "What about him?"

"Remember when we were kids. He was also our friend. He got kicked out of the palace because they found out that his father is a spy. I was the one who told the king after I heard my father talking to him about the rebels' plans."

"Your father is the one who communicates peace with the rebels so of course he would talk to one. What's that got to do with this?"

I shake my head. Why is it that people around me want everything clearly spread out to them? "Everything, Im Jaebum. When I said my father talks to the rebels, it's not to offer peace. He's the one who makes the plan. He's the leader of them all."

I want to capture this exact moment. My friend since childhood, who grew up to be the bravest man in the kingdom, just received news that proves how stupid he can be. He probably pieced up things together in an instant. The rebels had the courage to invade the main city because the palace was shaken to find out that I was held captive. They didn't know that I've been working for them all along. My father had been telling me what to do to support their cause: to overthrow the king and put someone who deserves to be on the throne.

"The princess will know this," he finally says after getting over his shock. Or maybe he isn't over it yet since he's not making any sense.

"Wake up, Jaebum. The princess can't do anything anymore, even if she knows about this. She has to get married in order to get the power and you, on the other hand, have something else to do."

"What?"

With hands hidden behind me, I pull the dagger that has always been on my sleeves. Funny how it was Jaebum who actually taught me about being prepared all the time. He said I should at least carry a small weapon with me because I don't know when I'll need it.

"Isn't it such a cloudy day?" I say as I walk to him. He remains standing still, waiting for my clarification. "Jackson once mentioned about your code with the princess. You know he can't keep his mouth shut. The sun and the moon, isn't it?"

I arrive right in front of him. Jaebum is taller than me, and very much broader because he's honed to battle. If this was any other day, he could easily stop me from what I'm about to do. But his face shows his distraught clearly. He just learned that his lover will be marrying his friend and he can't do anything about it. That kind of betrayal pains him so my last act as his friend is this.

"Some days, we don't see the sun at all, right?" I look out the window. "Like days like this."

He follows my gaze. We can both see the garden from here and there's the princess, watching us. I knew she's been there for a while. She wants to see for herself that I will let Jaebum go like promised. But since she promised, she can't talk to him anymore after we let her say her goodbyes before he was released.

"But you know what I realised, Jaebum?" I continue so his eyes go back to me. He makes a quick look at the princess again before finally focusing. "The day will still go on without the sun. The clouds above are enough. And it's not like the moon won't shine later. She'll be with the clouds so there's no need for the sun to appear at all."

Then I stab him, right on his stomach, with the dagger he gave me on one of my birthdays. Funny how things are going according to the plan yet when I see how disappointed his eyes are, rather than shocked or angry on what I just did, nothing makes sense anymore.

I know there are days when the sun doesn't shine as much but it's still there. It has to be there. I forgot how things would go wrong if the sun fails to shine. The moon will pull the tides and drown everyone, without the sun to calm the waves.

I look out the window and see the tear stricken princess loses her innocent eyes. In a blink, she's running to get to this room and I use the spare moment to look at Jaebum.

"Why?" he asks weakly as blood is soaking his shirt. I haven't removed the dagger from him yet but that's not the reason why he couldn't move. He just can't believe I did this.

"I don't know," I finally admit. "I don't know what to do anymore, Jaebum."

He shakes his head at me and huffs. "Then why choose this?"

I look away. The princess should be near this room now. There are guards outside so they can stop her while I carry on with the plan. "Because you have something to do. And that is to stay away from the wedding. I'm sorry but right now, I can only rely on Youngjae."

"Youngjae...?" he asks with a wince. I watch as he slowly loses consciousness after all the blood lost.

"The star is the only one who can shine beside the moon anyway," I say even though he can't hear me anymore. "The clouds are always just behind them."


	4. The Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text= flashbacks
> 
> POV: General Wang Jackson, son of General Wang and Lady Zhou

****In life, there are words that you do not think you will ever hear— not because they are impossible, but because you know it doesn't make any sense. I want to think that Youngjae is kidding when he says these words but he is not the type to fake. Especially this kind of things. Especially if it is about him.

"General Im Jaebum is dead."

Im Jaebum cannot be dead. I am not saying that he is immortal. He cannot be dead because that means that the only man who can finish this war is now gone. Without him, there will be no one to look up to, no one to prove that there are people brave enough to suffer for their loved ones, no one to give courage.

This is the second time I am hearing this. The first one is through a code and the princess told me about it without knowing what it means.  _The sun is down_. Jaebum has been captured.  _Protect the moon._ He may not come back so I should look after the princess. This whole code equates to him dying soon so I should plan for what is about to come. I would have accepted it there. My comrade, General Im Jaebum, died protecting the love of his life.

But then the princess shook her head. She refused to believe it. She said that we could still stop them, if that is the case. The sun does not just go down. We still have a chance. She kept on proposing plans—suicidal plans that I did not hesitate to turn down.

It was when Youngjae talked to her that she finally found the presumably right thing to do. She wanted to talk to the rebels, hear them out, what they want. It will end all this fightings. It will bring back JB.

When Youngjae and I went with her to meet the leader of the rebels, we found out that Jinyoung contributed a lot on their plan. Though he did not directly lead them, he provided information that helped them take over the kingdom. He was the one to volunteer in negotiating with the rebels, only to later send a message that he has been held captive. But he wasn't, not really. He sent that to shake the king. To make it seem that the rebels are strong enough to take such a high ranking official.

I could have understood his purpose in helping them. I admit the king is at fault for instigating such rage from people. If you hold onto them too tightly to squeeze all they have, you will taste the bitterness your grip brought out. The king should have known when to stop but I guess the others are right about him losing his balance when the queen died.

But I can never understand why Jinyoung have to torture JB. They needed him because he is the only one who knows where the princess is. Jinyoung knows that JB will never say it though, even if it costs his life. So why does he have to torture him anymore?

All this time, we thought that Jinyoung could see how JB and the princess are madly in love with each other. We thought he is working on accepting the fact that he can marry the princess but he will never own her heart.

We are wrong.

General Im Jaebum is dead.

He has accepted that he will die on a battlefield, protecting everything he loves. And yet, he died in the hands of someone he had been treating as a brother.

The traitor, Park Jinyoung, killed him.

* * *

Since the princess is marrying the traitor tomorrow, everyone is busy preparing. The news about our valiant general is just a whisper among the servants, a warning among the loyal knights that even the strongest has an end. The rebels could not care less; they must be even rejoicing because JB is someone they could not cross even when they had him captured. It is such a relief to them that no one will be able to stop the wedding tomorrow, therefore halting their much awaited autonomy.

It is funny because that means they do not trust the princess's words. When we went with her earlier here to propose the plan she devised with Youngjae, all of them looked up to her. Who else would be able to sacrifice her own happiness just so the killing would stop? Even I was baffled when they told me what we are about to do. JB told me to protect the moon, but the moon itself went into the clouds in order to free the sun.

And the sun is now gone.

I left the princess here earlier to do the one thing I am tasked of. I was confident that she'd be safe since Youngjae was with her and they cannot harm her anymore after the agreement. But Jinyoung—his name tastes bitter even on my mind, has a way of making sure that things will be exactly how he planned it. This is a much-awaited moment for him, to have everyone at the palm of his hand. I feel stupid not to notice how he talked about the rebels in such understanding way, as if he sympathises them. I thought it is just because he is smart to look at different angles, where as I can only focus on trying to keep them away from the city.

I never knew that the metaphors JB and I created as code for our plans can turn into something tragic. He was the sun; she was the moon. They were never meant to be together yet in rare but beautiful instances, they break the rules. I willingly offered to be the tide that they control, to do what I can for their sake because I treasure them both as my leaders and my friends. But now that the sun is gone and the moon is lost behind the clouds—someone we never knew would be more of a threat to their happy ending than the princess's duties, the tide shall move as it wills.

This is for all the love that had been lost because of that traitor's selfishness.

"I'm here to speak to Minister Park," I tell the guard outside his room.

* * *

 

> _After a fast meeting with JB where we decided that protecting the princess is the only way to survive this, I am tasked to get a special group ready. We will be among the guards trying to protect the people but once the anticipated fall of the kingdom comes, we will regroup to create a base at Wheatford Village. This will be the meeting place for when JB successfully takes the princess, the most important person in this war, away from the war overall._
> 
> _For days, we fight against the rebels, knowing that we will not stand a chance. They have Minister Park Jinyoung, the princess's betrothed and the only one in between the clash of the rebels and the guards. Even if we have the numbers, our priority is keeping the people safe so they can use it as an advantage. And that's what they did._
> 
> _When they successfully take over the capital, the group meets up at Wheatford Village. I heard that JB and the princess have been caught. We have to rescue them. I need to plan with the men as soon as possible._
> 
> _I knock SOS through Morse Code at the cellar door of a wrecked house. This is the entrance to an underground sanctuary we have built before all of this started. It slowly opens and I wait for a comrade to come out and identify me._
> 
> _But instead, I found her. The one I am fighting for._
> 
> _"Jackson!" she exclaims, eyes instantly full of tears. And I pull her, carry her from the underground and bring her to my arms._
> 
> _I let her cry on my shoulders, cannot complain when I am almost breathless from how tight she is holding me. Because I know, it is not enough for her. She's always waiting for me to come back unharmed—even just come back and spend a little time with her so she can make sure I'm alive. The anxiety she is feeling when I am away is more than my worries at battle. At least I can do something when things go wrong but in her situation, she cannot._
> 
> _"What took you so long?! You were supposed to be here before sunset! I was so worried! Where were you?!" her voice is muffled from her sobs and though I shouldn't, I find myself laughing. She pulls away from the hug to hit my chest. "This isn't funny!"_
> 
> _"I'm not laughing because it's funny," I tell her while pushing the strands of her hair away from her face. Her eyes are instantly red from the crying, or maybe she has already been crying before I came. But she's beautiful. If it is her face I'll see after battles, I'd be willing to start a war. "I'm just happy to hear your complaints again so I don't know how else to express it."_
> 
> _"You're hopeless!" she says before kissing me. I let her, knowing this is her way to calm down, to make sure that this is not a dream. And because I long to kiss her too. I have been out there trying to save people but I could not do anything to make sure she is safe. I just held onto the thought that she will be, because she is my girl. She is strong enough to hold on to me so I have faith in her._
> 
> _JB has laughed at me for how soft I am for her. The general leading the offense is on the mercy of his lover. But this—her showing me that even though I'm thought to be one of the strongest, she still worries—is enough to make me give up my strong façade and let out all my love._

* * *

This is a familiar scene, us two drinking wines discussing military affairs. Well, he actually just listens to me most of the time since he is not a military man. He is a smart one rather, handles the affairs of the kingdom like his father who was the minister before him. He understands but does not make an action. We, JB and I, are the ones in charge with that.

"Do you know why JB is the sun?" I ask as he sips his wine. The mention of our just passed friend makes him shoot an eyebrow up. He seems to be very contented of what is happening.

"I don't remember you telling me. Is it because he's hot-headed?"

"Because everything revolves around him," I correct though he seems to not care. Yes, I have mentioned the codes to him but he never knew how they were thought of. It is time I educate him.

"Not the moon," he points up, putting his goblet down, sensing my seriousness on the topic.

"Of course," I acknowledge. "The moon—the princess orbits around the Earth. She is bound to her people. And yet, we all know how the princess persuades people into following her too. She's like the moon that pulls the tides."

"Touché," he purses his lips.

"And then there's JB who shines differently from her.," I continue. "While the princess is our hope in the dark, the only one who can plead the king into resisting his bloodlust, JB is her own hope. He's the one who promised to help her get out of her restraints, the one who motivates her into fighting for what she wants."

He looks at me then, asking for my point. I overestimated him. Maybe he needs to hear it directly.

"You see," I stand up so I can go to his side, "once the sun disappears, everything will fly forward into space. Nothing can keep us grounded anymore." I stop right in front of him. "That's what you did. You brought us all into destruction."

"Oh, did I now?" he feigns shock.

"You killed JB so you can marry the princess without any hindrance. But she will never love you, Jinyoung, even with him gone. You know that. So why did you still do it?"

"You don't understand it now but soon," he stands up, "you will."

He turns his back on me.

I do not like being walked out on because I'm used to being the one to walk away.

* * *

 

> _We spend the next days underground. The men and I are planning how to invade the Capital to save JB and the princess. We cannot go against the rebels directly so we need an intel of how we can get in and break out our leaders without having to fight. We need Youngjae._
> 
> _"He's at Rosengard Village with the king," one of the men says. "That's where the king is supposed to be evacuated and Minister Choi is assigned to make sure his safety."_
> 
> _"How far is Rosengard from here?" I ask and he opens a map of the kingdom. We are at Wheatford and I can see that we need to cross the Capital to reach the target._
> 
> _"It's a day journey if we're going to be careful. The Capital is filled with rebels so if they detect urgent movements, we will be dead. We just need to pass so I can point out the routes we should take. It's harder if we're going to infiltrate so I guess we're lucky for now," Mark, our comrade who works best in missions like this, explains to me._
> 
> _So we decided to have ten men, led by me, travel from here to the Rosengard in order to get Youngjae. Every second we waste planning here can result to worse torture for JB and the princess. We need to get Youngjae and work with him on the plan to actually break into the Capital as soon as possible._
> 
> _"But you've just came back! You said General Im knows that the plan is to meet here. If he's as great as you make him out to be then you don't have to do this," she quickly says, not bothering to knock on the door I closed while preparing my things for today's journey. I once scared her from the bombs I keep inside my bags so I try to avoid letting her see any firearms from then._
> 
> _She does not seem fazed from the guns now though. She is too worried to even notice them. "Yes, love, General Im is the bravest man I've ever met. But that doesn't mean he will stand against a hundred rebels. He is not stupid. He is alone protecting the princess so he cannot kill himself. Therefore, as a comrade, I cannot just sit here and wait for him to finally lose it. He knows I will sense if he needs help and he is not that prideful to insist escaping just so I will not have to save them. I need to do this."_
> 
> _Her face shows that she wants to insist yet she knows I have a point. She is just worried, I understand. Without saying anything more, she embraces me. I love how her body tells me everything words cannot express. As always, she hugs so tight, just the way I like it._
> 
> _"I'll come back, I promise," I say while stroking her hair._
> 
> _"You always say that," she mutters._
> 
> _"And I always fulfil."_
> 
> _"Well, now you really have to, without a doubt. Because I'm not the only one waiting for you."_
> 
> _With that, I move her away from me so I can look at her beautiful, expressive eyes. "What do you mean?"_
> 
> _"You know what I mean," she pinches my side._
> 
> _"Ah!" I say in surprise. "No, I don't. What do you mean?"_
> 
> _"I meant," she looks down and I know this is what she does when she's embarrassed about something, "you're greatness has an evidence now."_
> 
> _"Greatness? Evidence?" I'm completely at lost._
> 
> _She makes a sound of disbelief. "Jesus, Jackson, I'm pregnant, okay?"_
> 
> _Pregnant._
> 
> _She has my baby inside her._
> 
> _I am going to be a father._
> 
> _Awesome._
> 
> _"I knew I did great when you screamed that night—!"_
> 
> _"Shut up!" she slaps my forearm. I laugh aloud, not just from how adorable she is but also because I'm happy that I'm going to have to love another person in the world so I'll be twice as brave facing this war. "This is more reason for you to come back unharmed. I can't raise a child on my own, especially in the middle of gunfights, so come back with Mister Choi and plan the princess and General Im's escape with him so everything goes back to the way it was."_
> 
> _"No, love," I pull her into my arms, the first time I am actually initiating the hug after we have met again. "The world will be so much better after this because it's not just you and me anymore." I move down so I can put my ear on her belly. "We will create a better world for little Jackson."_

* * *

 

"Have you ever thought how the world will be without the clouds?" I call out, making him stop and look back to me.

"Barren," he answers without second thoughts. A man of science indeed.

"Yes, because clouds gather water and then let go of them once it gets heavy," I further elaborate. I never thought my science lesson could be a help in explaining things to Jinyoung, who is so much smarter than I am. "Funny how like you, clouds slowly build up. I wouldn't have known they are that important until it's drought and everyone is parched."

"So I'm important," he concludes too early.

"Of course, you are. You could've been." I start walking to where he is, in the very middle of the room. "But Minister Park, you put yourself too high. You forgot that clouds destroy through storms too. People would've appreciated you if you help them live through drought but instead, you ruined everything with the power you hold."

"How did I, General Wang? All I know is that I killed General Im and broke the princess's heart. What, did I actually hurt you with that too, to the point that you've asked a private meeting with me so you can kill me?"

He knows. Of course, the smartest one among us all. I mean, it is obvious that I will be killing him after I heard that he killed JB. I wonder why he let me corner him like this though. It is not as if he has anything against me.

Not anymore.

* * *

 

> _"I owe you my life, General Wang," Youngjae says for the umpteenth time since we have taken him from their hideout with the king._
> 
> _His Majesty is well, stubborn as ever; we had a gunfight with his guards. Funny, we thought it is the rebels we should fear in this mission. Turns out it's the other guards like us. Luckily, Youngjae recognised me and said that we are not rebels. We told him everything and he did not hesitate to come with us. Apparently, he had wanted to get away from the king since he heard about him refusing to get the princess back when the rebels offered. He is just upholding his task of protecting the king that is why he stayed around._
> 
> _Since we told him about how the princess should be the one we're protecting because the king doesn't deserve protection at all, being the way he is, he agreed to come to our base and plan the escape._
> 
> _I knock at the cellar door with renewed faith. We have Youngjae. We just need to plan thoroughly then everything will be okay._
> 
> _But why isn't the door opening?_
> 
> _"It's me, open it, love," I call out, knowing that she will be waiting for my return. But there's silence._
> 
> _"Let us go first, General," Mark says with his gun ready._
> 
> _"No, she must be sleeping. You'll scare her with your gun," I tell him._
> 
> _"But General, we left two men with her. They should've heard answered too."_
> 
> _That is when everything hits me._
> 
> _I let Mark go down to check where she is, or even just the men we left behind. Maybe they are all gone to get us supplies on a nearby town._
> 
> _Mark emerges from the door and I can never forget the grim in his eyes. No. I refuse to believe it until I see for myself._
> 
> _"Move," I say, practically shoving Mark out of my way. The stench of blood quickly hits me, making everything seem a blur._
> 
> _But when I get to the ground, everything is clear. The way her body is laying on the floor, her hand on her stomach where our child should be safe, but how could he or she be if the blood from her stab wound is almost dried._
> 
> _"What happened?" I hear Youngjae ask, his voice pure of horror and disbelief._
> 
> _"They must've found out this place while we were gone," Mark says. "We have to get out of here."_
> 
> _"No," I quickly say, eyes still not blinking, mind still not accepting that I returned as promised but she's not there to see it. "We stay."_
> 
> _"Jackson, we understand that you're hurt. We'll bury her body but we have to find another—"_
> 
> _"No, Mark," I turn to him. "They found this and killed them so they will be looking for us everywhere else but here. Do you understand? We'll stay here because they won't think someone is here after they left the place like this."_
> 
> _"But Jackson, won't you..." Mark trails off, afraid that he will say the wrong words._
> 
> _I am hurt. No—I'm not just hurt, I'm full of grief and misery. And the only thing that can ease some of this pain is finding the root of all this chaos and end him. End him with my own hands._

* * *

"You did worse than that, Jinyoung," I sadly inform him. It is true, I am sad. I never thought this could ever happen. "You ruined a lot of lives. You succumbed to your desires and lost the selfless Jinyoung that we knew."

"Selfless Jinyoung?" he barks a laugh. "So you want me to stay as the little puppy that waits for the princess's attention? She is out there living her life while I am left studying everything just so I can help her rule the kingdom. And yet, in the end, I'm the selfish one?"

"Because you are our friend! We trust you but you betrayed us! I understand and sympathise you but you should have just said something! You did not have to take it all in! Hath we know that you want the princess—"

"You could've helped me move on because God knows she and Jaebum are unbreakable, I know, Jackson! You do not have to repeat it until my ears are bleeding! But did you know how much I wanted to be the one to lead the people? How that won't ever happen because the princess will surely find a way to marry Jaebum? What does that make me, Jackson? After studying all these years, after training to be the person standing beside her then suddenly being replaced by the one she thinks is better, where does that leave me?"

"Then that just proves that you really are selfish! You want to lead the people so you instil fear by working with the rebels to get the crown? That is not being a leader! Being a leader is when JB desperately looks for a way to get the princess out of danger, and looking for her when they got separated. Being a leader was the princess sacrificing her happiness just for everything to finally end, therefore giving freedom to everyone, the rebels, her people, and JB. You do not have what it takes to be the leader, Jinyoung. You can play with everyone's minds, promise them what their hearts' desires, but that does not make you a leader, but a conqueror. And no one will stay still if they're under one."

"You're threatening me, is that it?" he asks in such a bored tone. He is used to all my unnecessary banters so he does not understand my statements just now.

"I wasn't threatening," I say before pulling the gun I managed to hide even though they asked me to surrender my weapons before entering the room. "I was telling you before I do it. I'm not like you who stab from the back."

I shoot his shoulder. He is a little surprised, maybe not because I shot him but because I missed his heart. But I did it on purpose so he won't die right away.

I wait for him to shout for his guards. I am using a silencer so they will not think something is happening unless Jinyoung sends a signal. He does not though. He is looking at me for explanation.

"That one is for the princess. She suffered a lot and is still suffering from what you did. I don't want her to suffer more after getting married to you, that's why I'm doing this."

"With a shot on the shoulder?" he still has his sarcasm, I see.

"I have three to go," I say before shooting again, this time on his other shoulder. "That one is for JB. You know very well what you've done to him."

"Yes, I do. I figuratively stabbed him on the back but actually, it's a stab in the stomach that killed him."

I shoot his right leg. "This is for her."

His leg gives in and I feel amusement seeing Park Jinyoung kneeling at me. He looks up with a questioning look. "Her?"

"The woman who is—was bearing my child. She died when the rebels found our hideout. I assume it is your orders to find the hideouts since you know we will be building one for the princess and one for the king. You just didn't know where exactly they are."

"Then, it's your fault that they're easy to find. It's your fault that she's dead."

I shoot his other leg without much thinking as emotions start to overpower me. "You think I don't tell myself that? Ever since I returned to find her blood all over the place where I promised she'd be safe, I did not stop blaming myself. Even now that I am in front of you, I am blaming myself for everything. She died. Our child died. JB died. He could have been saved if I insisted to getting him after the deal has been made. But you tasked me to kill the king. So the king died in my hands. And now you're dying in my hands too. Yet I cannot help but think that if I had been a better friend, you will not end up like this. I could've helped you."

Jinyoung, now lying on the ground and his blood pooling beneath him, looks at me straight. He always does that to prove his sincerity. But I can't believe it now.

"Just kill me."

I shake my head. "No. I cannot be like you. I cannot just do what you say because that is what you like. You like people doing things you say. I don't want to be another pawn."

He smirks. And that smirks slowly forms into a grin. It is such a menacing grin, as if he is happy that I think of him that way. "I was quoting her."

My eyes narrow. What is he saying?

"That's what she said when I kept on torturing her to find out where you are. 'Just kill me. I will never betray Jackson.' She has very lovely eyes. I can feel the hatred when she glares at me."

He tortured her. He is the one who killed her, personally.

"I mean—don't get me wrong, Jacks, she really is pretty. Is she one of those whores they send you during war so you can get a god fuck as payment for sacrificing your life? Is that how you met? Are you sure you're the father of the baby she was carrying? I saved you the anxiety and killed them both. Shouldn't you thank me?"

I shoot him. The last one, right on his chest so his empty heart will stop functioning right away. He lies on the floor with such peaceful face, showing his arrogance at the very last minute.

"I am one of the waves, Jinyoung. And since clouds came from the water of the Earth, I'm the one who should pull you back to the ground. But," I look at him without any resentment, "you did this to yourself. You always told me that keeping quiet might save my life. You should've done that."


	5. The Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text= flashbacks
> 
> POV: Kunpimook Bhuwakul, Bambam

****I never had the interest to learn politics. My father has shown disgust to the way the king runs the kingdom ever since the queen died. I was still young then so I never really knew how it is different when the queen was still alive. Maybe the king was much kinder because he has the love of his life then. When he went to bed after a day full of meetings to determine the life of his people, he had his wife beside him to tell him that he has done a great job. And those were the only words that matter. The words he yearned to hear that is why he endures the heavy responsibility.

It is a nice story to believe in but even I myself do not understand half of it.

Love must be very powerful. It pushes people to do their best so that the one they love will be happy. And when it's gone, they turn oblivious to all the beautiful things in the world. I have never been in love and in a world like this, I don't think I have the luxury to be. But I understand that if it was any other person, they would've killed themselves after seeing the love of their life killed before their eyes.

But the princess didn't. I saw her thrashing the door of the room where Minister Park stabbed General Im. After a few minutes, Minister Park went out and walked pass us. The princess barged in but immediately stepped back when the fire almost caught her. Minister Park had set fire to General Im's body to make sure that he will not live.

The princess cried her eyes out after that, as if cleansing it from the horrible sight she does not deserve to see. I was beside her, waiting for her next move. I would not blame her if she kills herself at all. But then she surprised me by wiping her tears, standing up in such grace and poise, I find myself wanting to kneel in front of the one true queen.

"Tell them to hasten the preparations. I shall be wed at dawn," she said in an icy tone I never imagined she could. Even though I only got to spend a short time with her during our childhood, I could never see her as someone void of emotion. She is always very stubborn and sweet.

But now she's broken and lost. This must be what happened to her father too.

"Are you sure, Princess? Maybe Jackson or Youngjae can find a way," I tried to console but she shuts me with an exalted gaze.

"I want to get this over with. I have nothing to lose."

* * *

I am right though, when I said that either General Wang or Minister Choi might find a way. It is not even nightfall yet when my father summons me to the room where they make plans. I have never stepped in here because my father does not want me to be involved in the majority of the rebellion. I am a footman, someone who knows things in general and does very little contribution.

Everyone knows me as his son so they either leave me alone or let me do what I want, just like when I volunteered to get General Im when he was being tortured. Everyone turned blind eye to the fact that it's my fault, my choice to let them go. Either it is because they are confident that he will be caught again or they thought there is a reason why I would do that. It does not matter anymore. He is dead. And...

"Park Jinyoung is dead. You'll be marrying the princess."

They have given me the worst punishment. They surely took their time.

Park Jinyoung is dead. Everyone knows General Wang Jackson killed him. But he's nowhere to be found now and the wedding is more important than finding him, it seems.

"Think of this as a way to make up for your betrayal. You let Im Jaebum and the princess escape when we first captured them. We had to tell the others that another prisoner helped them. But they're not stupid. We do not have any other prisoners. If our men find out that it's you, what will they think of me?"

Looking back, I cannot help but feel sad of how things have changed. From the necessity to live, my father's cause has changed to something bigger. I mean, I do not know if that is what he really wanted in the beginning—the South's autonomy. But when he took me to the palace, in disguise that we're going to be servants when he's actually planning to kidnap the princess, he said that it's because they will pay him money enough to live comfortably. The plan failed and he was luckily not executed so he wanted to do more. He did just that until he became the head of the rebels.

"So this is about your pride as their leader?" I ask nonchalantly. I do not have a say in any of these so I am not afraid to actually say what I think about it too.

"I'm done being in the bottom, Kunpimook," he starts trying to explain. "You don't understand how hard I've been through just to raise you. When your mother died from the epidemic that also took the late queen's life, I wanted to die too. But I can't. What will happen to you? What will your mother say when I see her at the other side? So I struggled to keep us alive until I can make sure that you'll be alright."

I have heard of this story in varying lengths and words. My mother dies; he has to take care of me so he is doing this for my sake. I am tired of it, really. He probably senses it from my stoic face too.

"The people look up to me. We have made this far. If we mess things up now, you will have no place in this world. The princess will have you killed for being my son if they win, while our men would blame you for our losing."

That's it. I am done hearing all of these.

"Father," I start in pure wonder, "have you ever thought where I stand in this situation? Have you tried asking yourself why I let them escape?"

He leans back on his chair but do not think very hard to find his answer. "You became fond of them when we worked at the castle."

"It's not just that," I point out. "You see, I am thankful for everything you've done for me. I am not oblivious of how hard you struggled to raise me as what my mother would want you to do. I know I have never said this but I am proud to be your son, not because your men do respect you, but because you did not give in to your misery and upheld your promise to my mother. People think that dying for someone shows the greatest love but for me, living for someone is harder. You did that and someday, I want to find someone to live for too."

His mouth opens in shock of what I just said. I know he never thought of me as this thoughtful but that is because after his attempt to kidnap the princess, I have stopped telling him what is in my heart. It has been a series of 'What's happening with you?' instead of 'How have you been?' I know we both think that the situation makes us obviously wrecks, so the question will be offending.

I walk to the window. You can see the garden from here. In fact, every window in the castle has a view of the garden. That is how the servants know if the princess is on her usual spot.

I look up to the skies. The moon looks lonely tonight. Its light is dim even though there are no clouds hindering it.

"But even though I respect and love you for being my father," I abruptly continue so that I do not forget what I mean to say. "I don't share your belief as this rebellion's leader. I do not agree with your plan from the very beginning, much more now that you are asking me to do such a horrible thing. I understand your cause and I know that you just want to change the things that made it hard for you, so that other people won't have to suffer the same."

I look back to him. This is the first time he is intently listening to me. I do not want to waste it.

"But have you looked at the princess? Have you seen the damage all of these happening inflected her? She is innocent. She is not part of the suffering you had. You can even say that she is on our side. She removed the caste system which is the root of all our problems before. She went against her father who you know is willing to kill anyone, even her. She was unbelievably courageous and erudite to win over. And with the caste system gone, she gave us privilege to medical needs that Mother didn't have back then. She gave us all the chance to study and pursue the career we want. We are not limited to being slaves anymore. We are not in cages anymore. She had open many doors for us, something even the great leaders of the world couldn't have done at the age of eighteen."

I stop to let him absorb how amazing the princess is. He is in deep thought, probably asking himself why he had not thought of that. He was bent to having the freedom he wants, that he did not realise it is already being serve to him in a different plate.

When he looks at me again, I continue.

"But here we are, wanting to trap this wonderful woman to the prison we were once in, just so we can soar as high as we want, without her telling us when we've gone too far. You admitted it yourself; you do not have the capability to lead a country. Without a proper guide, this whole country will be lost. You think you can get the South's autonomy and the Capital goes back to the way it was before, except a just queen and his prince escort will be on the throne instead of a vile king."

He seems to disagree with how I put it in words but still, he waits for what is next.

"But you see, you want me to marry this woman, help you take away her chance of being with the one she loves the most. Isn't that the most hurtful thing in the world? Even when the caste system was here, we had the chance to be with our families. Our hardships are worth it because when we go home, the people we love will give us grateful smiles. This woman removed our constraints, gave us the chance to give more to our loved ones but you're planning to tie her up in much more painful chains?"

I find myself breathless from that outburst. My voice was calm but my emotions are overpowering me. I walk to my father, to the leader of the rebels, and finally say it.

"I do not care if we win or lose, of how I would end up after all of these. I'd rather have no place in this world than to torment someone who among everyone deserves to be with the one she loves for what she's done for us. You saw how the king became after losing his queen. I don't want to be part of the impending worse prison waiting for us all when the princess finally snaps."

* * *

I left the room so that my speechless father's next words can be well thought of. I cannot help but sigh when the door closes behind me.

I did it. I finally grabbed the chance to protect the princess.

"That was a very noble thing to do," someone says and I turn to his voice. Leaning against the wall is the missing murderer of Minister Park.

"Lord Wang—" I blurt out but shake my head at once. "General Wang," I correct.

"Bambam," he acknowledges while putting his goblet up. He drinks his wine.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, though actually, I am mostly wondering how he got the wine.

"I never left the palace. I was at the library with Youngjae."

"You don't like the library," I point out from our childhood memories.

"That's why they wouldn't think I'm there. Aren't I smart?"

I nod. This is him, alright. Though he became leaner, tougher, and a heavy drinker, the wit and humour is very Lord Wang Jackson.

"Now," he gets away from the wall and walks to me. I look down automatically but he holds on my shoulder, making me look into his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I—I came to see my father. You heard the conversation," I feel small under his measuring glare.

"No, Bambam. What are you doing in the middle of this chaos when you said you're going back to your small town to be friends with kids like you?"

I feel shivers realising that he remembers.

After all these years, he remembers.

* * *

 

> _I wake up when I feel the world shake._
> 
> _Where am I?_
> 
> _I look around and realise that I am inside an old carriage with some strangers. I sit up and find my father staring at me from the seat above. I had been lying on the floor._
> 
> _"Father?" I ask for clarification. I know I slept at our old house, not in an old carriage. Our house is small but not as cramped like this. It certainly does not have creaking wheels too._
> 
> _"Go to sleep. It will take another five hours to get to the Capital," he says in his deep no-nonsense voice that some fear. Since I know that he is a loving father who just wants the best for me, I was never afraid of him._
> 
> _"Why are we going to the Capital?" I look around to the other passengers. They are not looking at us but I know they are listening. It is hard not to since we are in a not so spacious car._
> 
> _"We'll be working at the palace from now on so rest well before we get there. You might not get any once we start working," my father dismisses me but now I am more confused._
> 
> _"The palace? But why? We have our own home. There are pigs that did not get affected of the flu. We can still make a living out of them," I insist._
> 
> _It's not like I really love living in our little town. I just prefer it over the life at the palace. At least back there, I can play in the fields anytime I want—well, maybe after I finished my tasks first. But at the palace, you don't get to finish your task. There is always something to do for the king and the princess._
> 
> _At least, that's what I've heard. None of the servants actually gets out of the palace once they come in. The king wants to make sure that they would not be able to spread words of what's happening inside._
> 
> _"No. Even if we can sell a pig every week, which is impossible with the epidemic, we will not be able to afford the tax entailed to it. The king ordered the taxes to be doubled since they suffered from the lost in livelihood because of the epidemic. Quite the irony. We're suffering more than them but we're the ones paying?"_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Hey, I haven't seen you around here before. Are you new?" a cheerful voice says from behind me so I turn around. There stands a boy about my age but the difference in the status is very evident on our clothes. He is wearing vibrant colours, showing that he's son of a nobleman, while I am in grey tones, the uniform of servants._
> 
> _"How can I help you, my lord?" I ask with eyes downcast. After a week of observing the other servants, I have learned to not look at the nobles directly and also not to entertain their unnecessary comments. Just ask what they want you to do and do it. That will avoid any complications._
> 
> _"Are you new?" the noble boy repeats in an unwavering tone. Did he not understand that I am not up for chitchats?_
> 
> _"Jackson, I found you!" a new voice exclaims from the door and we both look at him. He is wearing white, meaning that he resides here in the palace. There is only other child here except the princess and that is Choi Youngjae. I never really learned his origin but according to my co-workers, he is always at the library studying everything about the kingdom, so I think he is a minister-to-be._
> 
> _"Youngjae! I did not know you have a new attendant of our age. Why don't we ask him to come play with us?" the boy in blue silk, Lord Jackson, gets more excited by the second._
> 
> _I take note of how he called me attendant instead of servant. There is a caste system in the kingdom and I am on the fifth level, the labourers. Nobles are on the second, the helpers in managing the kingdom. I would understand him acting high and mighty, like how stereotypical noble boys are, but he seems to not care about status at all._
> 
> _"Do you have other tasks except the dishes, Bambam?" Lord Choi asks and I am surprised he knows my name._
> 
> _"Oh, your name is Bambam! Nice to meet you. My name is Wang Jackson, son of Lady Zhou and General Wang. Maybe you have heard of my mother. She was the greatest lady dancer."_
> 
> _I am familiar of her. She has an exceptional beauty that still has not faded even after two sons. She was very popular before, much more when she married General Wang. That was before I was born so I only heard it from the mothers on my neighbourhood. How they envy Lord Wang's mother who has raised her children very well and still look fine looking._
> 
> _Lord Jackson Wang narrows his eyes at me. "Hey, are you crushing on my mom?"_
> 
> _My eyes widen and I quickly bow. "No, my lord. I would never disrespect your mother. Please forgive me."_
> 
> _He laughs, the sound echoing all over the dirty kitchen we are in. He has a high-pitched laugh and it is in syllables. "I was just trying to make you speak. Sorry! You should've seen the look on your face!"_
> 
> _He was toying with me but I do not feel offended. It was actually funny._
> 
> _"That's too much, Jackson! You frightened him!" Lord Choi says while hitting Lord Wang's arm. Lord Wang dramatically reacts. Lord Choi turns to me with an apologetic smile and now I am more confused._
> 
> _My father made me grew up thinking that the ones on top of us are self-centred and cruel to those at the bottom of the system. So why do I find myself wanting to spend time with Lord Choi and Lord Wang?_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _On my way back to my quarters, I pass by Lord Park. He does not look at me but I stop to bow at him. I do not know much about him except that he is the princess's betrothed and a friend of the lords I first encountered. He never really played with us so I do not know what he is like._
> 
> _With Lord Wang's untiring pleas for me to play with them, I gave in, convincing myself that it is part of serving the lords. That is how I met the rest of their group._
> 
> _Wang Jackson, noble-born, son of General Wang and Lady Zhou. He is the second son so he is not required to be the Minister of Warfare in the future. That would be his older brother's job. He says that he wants to be a general anyway, because he admires his father, so being the second is son is better. He is very loud, in the positive way. He is good at making people laugh. He is also the best at physical activities._
> 
> _Choi Youngjae, the princess' relative though of unknown origin. That is just how he introduces himself and the king did not give much explanation, not that he is obliged to give any, when he took in Lord Choi. He is easy to read; his emotions are written all over his face. He likes hitting people when he laughs, and that said laugh is infectious. He is the smartest among the group, I think. He knows a lot of big words. I think he is going to be the Minister of Knowledge. He is weaker than me during playfights anyway. He should not be in battles._
> 
> _Im Jaebum, the esquire. I probably relate to him the most. He is not noble-born or adopted by the king so he knows that his place is not with the playful little lords. But he doesn't carry himself the pitiful way that I do. He can jive to the lords' whims and even punish them with flicks on the forehead when they mess with the princess. I could only make fun of him because we are both attendants and so he will grab my nape and playfully pull me down. He is the one I am comfortable to talk to and he also shares some things with me. I think he likes the princess and that's why he wants to be a soldier in the future._
> 
> _Sometimes, we have Lords Mark Tuan and Kim Yugyeom to play with us. They are firstborns so aside from sword trainings, they also need to learn how to manage their houses. Though not ministers to be, their houses are wealthy and would be needed by our future queen. That's why they should learn how to help her._
> 
> _The princess is the last person I expect to actually meet. She has been very mysterious so I do not know how to react when I came to her face to face. She has the same light on her eyes as Lord Choi's, maybe because they are relatives or because they both are actually pure. Whenever I see her at the garden, she has either a smile on her face or a complaining pout. I declined all of Lord Wang's request to play with them when she's around. I adore her, like how I think everyone else does. But I don't think it would be right for her to waste time with me._
> 
> _We have never been formally introduced but I feel like I know everything about her from the stories they tell me. Even though I am just a servant, I promise I will help her any way that I can because she is someone who deserves all the heavenly bodies._
> 
> _I finally get to our quarters and find my father packing our stuffs. What is happening?_
> 
> _He notices me by the door. "Kunpimook, grab your things. We have to be ready tomorrow," he throws me a bag. "Were you out with the nobles again?_
> 
> _"No, I was running an errand for the head maid."_
> 
> _He grunts. He knew about my connection with the noble children but he never commented about it. I think he might be okay with it because sometimes he asks me how the princess is or did one of the lords tell me something about adult stuffs. I always fail to answer him because I spend time to accompany the lords on their playtime, not their meetings._
> 
> _"Where are we going?" I ask while starting to grab my very few things. All of these are from the lords. I never really had anything when I got here._
> 
> _"Back to the South. Tomorrow, we'll finally do what we came here to do."_
> 
> _"What did we come here to do?"_
> 
> _He stops his packing to look at me. I did not mean to sound sarcastic but I really was not informed why we came here. "Did you really think we are here to serve those haughty nobles?"_
> 
> _"They're not haughty," I instinctively say, defensive of the lords I interact with._
> 
> _"Because you've only seen the kids. Have you seen their fathers? The ones who decide the people's fate as if they own their lives?"_
> 
> _"No but—"_
> 
> _"The world isn't as small as it is to you right now. Those noble kids do not have anyone else to play with that is why they deal with a servant like you. But once they become ministers, become generals, leaders of their houses, what will you be to them? Their responsibilities will make you just a useless piece of their game."_
> 
> _The memories of the lords' laughter fill my mind. I know they will not stay that way but I do not think they will also be as cruel as my father thinks. "But why are we packing then? Why are we going back to the South? You said we can't live there anymore."_
> 
> _"We can after I take the money."_
> 
> _"Money from what?"_
> 
> _"Money that they will pay me for bringing the princess to them."_
> 
> _My mind stops processing for a moment. What he said does not make any sense. How would he bring the princess to them? Who even are them? Why would he do this? Did my father finally go crazy?_
> 
> _"Kunpimook," he calls me back to reality._
> 
> _I do not like being called by my real name anymore. It sounds very unnatural and I got used to Bambam. Kunpimook is the poor Southern boy who takes care of the pigs and dreams of getting rich as nobles. Bambam, on the other hand, is an attendant in the palace, spends time with the lords that he respects, and knows his place in the world. I am Bambam now. I am not going back to Kunpimook who has his head on the clouds._
> 
> _"I'm not going," I tell him, dropping my bag. Good thing the shirt Lord Wang gave me is under all the other stuffs so they did not break._
> 
> _"Then you will let me leave alone?" my father concurs._
> 
> _"No one is leaving," I clarify. "I will tell the guards about your plan."_
> 
> _"You will do that to your own father?"_
> 
> _I nod, determined. He goes closer to me._
> 
> _"You want me dead."_
> 
> _I shake my head._
> 
> _"Then we have no choice, do we? Even if I agree with your virtues now, we were sent here to do this job. If we fail, they're going to kill is so as to not risk who are the masterminds."_
> 
> _"Who are they anyway?"_
> 
> _He shakes his head. "It's better you don't know. I am giving you this night, Kunpimook. You know everything I've done is for you, right?"_
> 
> _I nod. Now I'm getting confused._
> 
> _"Then it's either you come with me or I die because of you. Think carefully son."_
> 
> _My father is not a cruel man but this is the most horrible thing he ever made me do._
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Bambam!" I hear the familiar shout of my name but rather than to ask me to play, he is asking me why I am being dragged by the guards. They stop to wait for the young noble behind us. He reaches us in seconds and looks up to the men much taller than him. "Let him go. He's my friend."_
> 
> _Friend. This is the first time I heard him refer to me like that. I would never dare call myself their friend just because they merely play with me. But here he is, telling it like a passcode to my freedom._
> 
> _"We've been ordered to remove him from the palace, Lord Wang," the one on my left answers._
> 
> _"What?!" Lord Wang snaps. He turns to me. "What happened? Did you finally steal the bread five days after I dared you to do it?"_
> 
> _"No, it's not that bad," I try to downplay._
> 
> _"Then what? Why are you being dismissed?"_
> 
> _I do not know how to explain it to him. Without even me interfering, my father was caught trying to get the princess. Since he was not successful, Minister Park, Lord Park Jinyoung's father and the one who heard about what happened first, decided not to tell the king about it and just kick us out of the palace. I am both relieved and saddened._
> 
> _"We're going back to the South," I say rather._
> 
> _"But why? Don't you want to play with us anymore?"_
> 
> _"No, of course I would love to play with you again," I try to smile but his frown makes me falter. Lord Wang does not frown. He is the most optimistic person in the world. I am not saying he does not get sad. But he is strong on his belief in good things, that he can still smile against anything._
> 
> _"Did Youngjae hit you too hard when he laughed the other day? Is that why you want to go?"_
> 
> _"No," I answer tiredly._
> 
> _"I'm running out of reasons. Can't you just tell me?"_
> 
> _I look at his still probing face. Nothing can satisfy Lord Wang. That's one thing I will never forget._
> 
> _"I'm going back to my small town," I look away to hide the lie. He will accuse me of it once he sees my eyes glassy. "I want to be friends with people like me. I'm... done being your servant."_
> 
> _"What are you saying? When did I ever treat you as a servant?" he defends himself._
> 
> _"You don't say it but I know that's how you think of me," I start to shake. I feel so sorry for lying but this is the only way he will let me go. "You love it when you hurt me, don't you? You make me run after all of you so that my weak legs get exhausted. You flick my forehead because I lost, which was your plan in the very beginning anyway. You go back to your comfortable rooms while I go back to the kitchen to hear an earful from the headmaid about how I do not do my job. Already exhausted from being your toy, I start working again so that you will have clean dishes for your breakfast the next morning."_
> 
> _"Bambam," his voice breaks. "I don't... I didn't know."_
> 
> _"Of course, you wouldn't," I smile bitterly. "You will never understand how hard it is for me to see you all happy. You will never understand how I am both thankful and suffering from everything we do. You will never be in my position, as I will never be in yours, so we can never be friends at all."_
> 
> _"No," that's when his tears drop. "We're friends. We're already friends."_
> 
> _I shake my head, tears falling from my eyes too. The guards decide they already wasted enough time watching two kids fight over silly things so they start to drag me away. Away from the palace, away from the drama, away from Lord Wang, the very first friend I ever had._

* * *

 

"There are no kids like me. I'm the leader of the rebels' son," I go back to the present, remembering who I am now.

General Wang looks up, thinking. "My father was a general so you can say that he was a leader too. I am a leader's son. That makes me like you."

I arch a brow. He gives me a grin so familiar, that I feel my heart exploding. I start to shake, this time to laugh at the ridiculous of everything. In the middle of a battlefield where loved ones are being lost and forgotten, a friendship is being rekindled. Love surely is powerful. It can exist in different forms.

We laugh aloud, the sounds echoing all over the place. No one dares to come and tell us we are being noisy. No one comes to say there is nothing to laugh about. The silence of the night makes us feel free from impending judgement tomorrow.

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" I ask, the laughter slowly dying from our lips.

"I don't know," he gives one last smile. He looks away, to the unknown tomorrow still masked by darkness. "They might catch me or not. You may get married or not. I hope the night is long enough to prepare us for what's about to come."

"I don't think I can prepare to be a prince escort overnight."

"Nor am I prepared to get executed for killing a minister."

We exchange smiles then. Another similarity.

He takes a long sip from his goblet before putting it down beside the pillar. I watch him stretch; he had a long day and is probably very tired. The maids close the library around eight in the evening so he can't stay there anymore. He will be caught wandering around.

"Hey, how about you hide in my room for the night?" I ask before I can even rethink the idea. "No one barges in there. You'll be safe."

His eyes narrow at me. "That's nice. But I can't stay in a stranger's room. He should at least be my friend so I know he won't kill me in my sleep."

I let out a nervous laughter. I do not even know what I should be nervous of. Maybe I am guilty of how I lied to him before and now he still implies that he wants to be my friend. He is teasing me by making me ask him. I do not think I deserve his friendship at all.

But life is never fair. We do not get what we want and only accept what we think we deserve. With my life on the line right now, I want to change this. I want to take a risk. To accept something that I do not think I deserve and let him give me what I want.

"Would you like to be my friend then?"

His eyes widen in amusement. He did not think I would really say it. He lets out a gleeful laughter before looking at me mischievously. "Oh, what makes us the same with each other then? The fact that we're leaders' sons?"

"No," I smile. "Because we're both screwed tomorrow."

He laughs again. I think my ears will ring tomorrow but at least for a nice reason. "That we are. Lead the way then."

"Yes, my lord," I playfully answer.

He puts an arm over my shoulder and messily tries to follow my steps. He must be drinking all day. I cannot blame him but he cannot blame me too if we stumble midway.

"You know Bam, while the sun, moon, stars, and clouds are up in the sky, the ocean—the tides and the ground are together below them."

My forehead creases. Is this how he talks when he's drunk? He becomes poetic?

"Right?" he asks with a finger pointing at the moon, at the grass, to prove his point.

"That's right," I answer.

He nods. "I hope tomorrow doesn't separate them."

Separate the tides and the ground? That would mean the world is uninhabitable. Of course, that should not happen. "I hope so too."

* * *

The morning brings me another reunion. "Lord Choi," I recognise the elegant man standing outside my room. He's wearing white just like before so I had a clue. He gives me a tentative gaze so I thought of what I said wrong. "Minister Choi," I correct myself. "What are you doing here?"

"Good morning, Prince Escort," he bows to me so I laugh.

"No." I shake my head. He looks at me with eyes wide, asking what I mean. He should know. He handles the preparation so if my father changed his mind he would be the first to... "Wait..."

"Yes. The wedding will go as planned."

And the world is starting to crumble.

"I can still change this," I almost promise to him. Though he does not raise a brow, I feel him questioning my means. "I will talk to my father again."

"No, Bambam. It's alright. Calm down and listen to me," he says slowly but I cannot calm down. He can sing to me but I still will not calm down. "Bambam, you have to marry her."

"No."

"You have to."

"I won't."

"You will."

"I will not put her under torture. I'm not like these people."

"I know. That's why you have to do this."

I gape. "What? That doesn't make any sense."

"It does. Just listen to me." I am bothered at how calm he is. He grew up with us, with the princess. He is the one who knows everything. "Do it for the princess. Just like how she removed the caste system for you."

"What?" And I'm the one who knows nothing.

He looks behind me, as if he knows Jackson slept in my room. Maybe he does. He holds my arm and gently drags me away. I feel the seriousness of what he is about to say and I just want to get it over with.

When we are a safe distance from my door, he stands up in front of me.

His voice is unusually low as he says, "When you left, Jackson was devastated. You do not know how hard it was to see him sulk all day. He lost the excitement that makes him... him. The princess saw this and asked us what happened. We explained your departure. She talked to Jackson who broke down to her and told her about how you don't want to be his friend because of your status."

It is sad how I can imagine everything. The scene of Lord Wang sulking could have been adorable if it were not for the reason. And when he said he broke down in front of the princess, I realise how hard he took my leaving then. He likes being seen as a tough guy but he tried to find comfort from the one he knows is more powerful than him. He let himself appear weak because a servant cannot be his friend. It is such a pure gesture.

"Can you imagine a noble saying that? A servant being depressed of how he has to work all day instead of playing would be understandable. But for a young noble boy to cry about how he can't be friends with a servant is just heart breaking and eye opening at the same time."

No, I never thought of it that way.

"From then, the princess started drafting an act to remove the caste. That was the very first thing she presented to the ministers when she was finally allowed to join the meetings. Imagine that sixteen-year-old girl facing all those men and telling them the unfairness of the world we are living in. Imagine her courage fuelled by her desire to make her friend happy."

And this makes me admire her more.

"This is how you can return the favour. Marry her, Kunpimook Bhuwakul. Marry her and be her prince escort. Make her the queen so we can end all of this."

Make her the queen. That's right. She can do everything if she is the queen. She can end all of this.

* * *

"I do."


	6. The Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text= flashbacks
> 
> POV: Prime Minister Choi Youngjae

****I know everything.

Among all the beings in the sky, the collection of stars is the one that occupies the most space. It is not as big as the sun up there; it does not even shine as much as the moon. It does not control the tides or the rotation of the world.

And yet, people love the stars. They are beautiful, twinkling like eyes blinking at you. Not just that, some wise people also found out that stars can point the right direction since among anything, they do not change. There are also patterns one can make by connecting the stars, therefore satisfying an artistic mind. Even during its death, a falling star is thought to be able to grant wishes, giving hope to the people. Some also say that when there are no stars in the sky, it will rain. So it's safe to say that the stars are helpful in so many ways.

That is why I would like to think of myself as a representation of the stars. I am that thing in the sky that people admire but often overlook. They do not realise that even though I glimmer too little, I am the one that fills the sky the most. I am the one who has seen everything.

I am the one who knows, and actually plans, everything.

* * *

"I now pronounce you as husband and wife, queen and prince escort of this kingdom."

Weddings are supposed to be beautiful. It is a ceremony officiating the union of two people, who have decided to live the rest of their lives together, fight battles hand in hand, create memories that will make them feel satisfaction from the little time they have spent walking this Earth.

But the wedding today, though beautiful in the physical eye, is terrible for everyone's fate. The bride, who is supposed to be crying for this is the happiest day of her life, has a blank expression as she faces the crowd whose lives she saved by doing this. The groom, who is supposed to hold her hand and assure her that she will be taken care of, doesn't even dare touch her, because he knows he doesn't have the capability to make such promises.

Everyone stands up to clap for the newlywed, but no one is smiling. No one wants this.

They did not kiss. They did not say anything other than what should be said. They did not look at each other at all. I want to tell them that it's alright; they only have to endure it for a while. I will do things as planned so do not worry and hang in there.

But I should keep everything to myself. I should let the success make noise to avoid giving them false hopes. Keeping someone's mouth closed can do wonders. Park Jinyoung would have agreed.

* * *

"Minister Choi," the leader of the rebels, Bambam's father, calls for my attention. While everyone is spiritlessly celebrating the wedding at the grand ballroom, we move to the Council Room to discuss the matters entailed to the union.

"She will sign it tomorrow, first thing in the morning," I reply, thinking that he is asking about the treaty. That is the most important thing at the moment.

"No, Youngjae, we were wondering if there will be a consummation ceremony as the tradition goes," someone from the other end of the table says so I look for him. It is ex-Minister Park, Jinyoung's father.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, not minding how disrespectful it seems.

He seems taken aback by my hostility. "I'm here as my son's representative. You haven't chosen the next Minister of Internal Affairs yet so I figured the one before the recent would be—"

"You're the mastermind of all of these," I state so he can stop the charade.

His eyes snap to the leader of the rebels. See, that's the thing about liars. They think everyone is a liar too so they would accuse someone else right away.

"He didn't tell me, Lord Park," I clarify quickly because I'm afraid he'll stab him right there and then. I still need Bambam's father so I cannot let that happen. "Jinyoung did."

"Jinyoung?" among everyone else, he seems to be the only one genuinely shocked of Jinyoung's betrayal. We were all surprised to find out that Jinyoung fed information to the rebels before but right now, his father is in utter disbelief that he was betrayed too. "Do not drag my son's name in this filth. Yes, I was the mastermind of all of this and he worked under my orders. He is loyal to me."

There is a saying that you should trust liars because you know they will always lie to you. You should beware of the honest ones rather, because you do not know when they will betray you. Ever since, Jinyoung has been under his father's orders so of course, the older Park would think that he has his son on the palm of his hands. But Jinyoung, the well-educated man that he grew up to be, has a complicated way of thinking about things. He can be doing something his father wants him to but his purpose is the complete opposite of the mastermind's.

"Guards," I call so the ones around us, there are about ten of them, step forward to get ready for my orders. "Take Lord Park to the dungeons where he shall wait for his trial against treason."

"Treason?" he tries to struggle away from the royal guards.

"You just said it yourself. You're the mastermind of all of this," I point out.

"And my men would kill you if you hurt me!"

I look at Bambam's father. He nods at me. I turn to Lord Park with a confused expression. "What men?"

He glares at the leader of the rebels upon realising. "You bastard! After all I did for you!"

"You didn't do anything for us, Lord Park. We are the ones who fought. Your son is the one who told us what is best to do. You may have ordered him to help us, but it was his intelligence that made the plan work. You were merely waiting for the time to get the crown for yourself after we leave the Capital. Then you will take back the South from us anyway."

"How did you—"

"Jinyoung did," I repeat. Jinyoung really was the one who told us that so we can be prepared of what would happen once he is gone.

Lord Park— Park Myung-noh keeps on struggling out of the guards' holds but they manage to drag him out of the room.

"What shall we do next?" Minister Wang, Jackson's older brother, leans forward. He has been watching the scene with an amused smile but now that the nuisance is gone, we should focus on the remainder of the plan.

"I have to talk to the prince escort later since he will be the key to this plan. I trust that you will keep your word, Lord Bhuwakul?"

Bambam's father nods mutely.

Minister Wang's forehead creases. He looks like his brother when he does that. "Lord? Why are you addressing him as that?"

"Lord Bhuwakul is the new head of the South and therefore he shall have lordship," I simply answer.

"Yes, but they are already a different country, right? They fought us for autonomy." He seems to be confused as to why I respect the rebellion's leader.

"They will be friends of the crown from now on. The South will still be under the queen's guidance even though they have their own leader."

The walls are thin. Bambam's speech about how the princess should be respected and thanked instead of punished has been spread among the people, rebels or allies. Ultimately, it opened his father's mind into more acceptable conclusions. As I am the only minister available to discuss it with, he came to me. I told him how things would go, explained to him fairly, and asked him for a decision he will not regret.

He accepted the lordship. He would be the leader in the South and a friend to the crown, since his son is the prince escort. He knows himself that he will not be able to handle a big region by himself so we will guide him. He is a strong and smart man, so he would make his men understand his choice. This is for the best.

In the end, they got the freedom they wanted, but will stay close enough so we can make sure that they are safe.

"Alright. Then we should talk about the assignment of new ministers. I suggest Mark Tuan to be the Minister of Internal Affairs. His family has kept a good morale both here and the South. Surely there won't be any rebellion again with him in between the houses?" Minister Wang meaningfully comments. He must have heard about the heartbreak his brother is suffering from the happenings so he still does not trust the other parties.

"That's a good idea. So we have Mark Tuan on the Affairs, you on the Warfare," I scribble down.

"And you as the Prime Minister," he adds.

There are five Ministers to represent each sector: Knowledge, Finance, Internal Affairs, External Affairs, and Warfare. Then there is a Prime Minister that gathers their report and tells it directly to the king or queen. That is my job now. I am the Prime Minister, the Hand of the Queen. It was not really an assigned job but everyone relies on me and believes I should be here. I am the one who has been closest to the royal family and I have been studying the whole kingdom ever since I was brought here.

"So we're only missing a new Minister of Knowledge. The Ministers of Finance and External Affairs are still alive, thankfully, though they are currently busy calculating the damages and asking the foreign neighbours to help us," I say and cannot help but look at Lord Bhuwakul. I cannot tell if he is ashamed or proud of what he did but there is no point thinking about it now. We have more important things to do. "Let's talk about the possible candidates."

* * *

"Prince Escort," I address when I pass by him. I am on my way to my room after a day of trying to fix things but here is the newlywed, looking more stressed than I am. His reign is not even starting yet.

"I did what you said but I still don't understand why I have to marry her. She will never be happy with me," he says without hesitation. He must be really waiting for me that's why he is outside the hallway. And it's not like he can share the room with Her Majesty too.

"She will be happy but we still have some things to do," I assure him. I walk closer to show him that there is no worry in my eyes. Everything is going according to the plan.

"I heard about your agreement with my father. That's a smart move."

"He wouldn't have agreed if you didn't tell him those things. You do not know how grateful I am that you stood up for her. It's like you have Jaebum's courage and Jinyoung's eloquence in saying things."

He looks away, embarrassed. "How did you even know about the speech? Did Jackson tell you?"

"No. Jackson has left the palace before your wedding so he did not get the chance to gush about it. I just know everything."

He nods. He must have been wondering where Jackson is. I helped him get away from here, sent him to the West where Mark can provide him a place to stay. I do not know when he will be back but I know he will be. Especially since he has only re-established friendship with the new prince escort. He just needs some time to mourn for his lost love and for his assassination case to go down.

"You know, I have a lot to ask you, Youngjae, things about how to help the princess—the queen. But can you please at least answer this one question right now? It has been bugging me ever since and I don't know, but it feels like I'll be relieved if I finally find out the answer. It's a little personal."

I cannot help but raise a brow. What could he be curious about me? I am not very mysterious. People even say that I am an open book; my feelings are written all over my face. "What is it?"

"Where did you come from?"

Well... that is one thing no one ever dared to ask.

I know ever since that people are interested in me because I just sprouted from nowhere. One day it is the princess living playmate-less in the huge castle, the next she has someone to make flower crowns for. Due to the king's order of not bothering me, no one directly inquired about my origin. Even the princess was happy just be having me with her, so she did not care where I came from at all.

Some would think I have probably already forgotten my past before entering the castle because I never got to talk about it. But those are the memories I treasure the most and so I still remember them vividly until today.

"Bambam," I say as I guide him to walk. It's getting rather breezy so we should go inside. Maybe he can stay on the room beside mine since it's also big enough for a prince escort. "I will answer your question but let me ask you something too."

"Sure, I guess," he says reluctantly while following my steps.

"You don't have to think of it deeply. I was just wondering why the king changed when the queen died, in your opinion. You are the prince escort now because you married the princess. Do you think if one of you dies, the other will also change for the worse?"

"No, I do not think so," now he's full of confidence. "I am not in love with the princess and neither is she with me. We are merely marrying each other for peace. The king before lost his anchor, the one who was able to understand his visions. That is why he also lost those visions. He became cruel."

"No." I say with a smile before we stop in front of the door. I gesture him to come in because this will be his room for the night.

"What do you mean by no?" he asks while opening the door.

We step inside the room and I let him take in the sight first. I know he must be thrilled to stay in such grand room because of his origin. I was like that on my first night in the castle too.

He sits on one of the couches and gestures me to sit across him. I follow and he waits for my clarification.

I lean forward so I only have to speak in hushed tones. This is not something that the walls should hear. I am only telling this to him because he needs to trust me. "The king was enraged because the queen betrayed him."

Questions must be flooding his mind as he grimaces more. "What do you mean? She died giving birth to the princess. That's quite honourable."

"That's what the story says. But that's not what happened at all," I drop the smile I have been trying to keep. This is not a happy story anyway. "She was taken by a Southerner."

Bambam's eyes widen. "Why would they take the queen? Was it for the rebellion? That must be why the king was really angry."

I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I made a mistake. She was not actually taken. She... eloped with a Southerner?"

"What?"

If you mention the late queen to anyone in this kingdom, they will compare her to goddesses. She was that kind and beautiful. It is an abomination to accuse her of infidelity.

Good thing I am not merely accusing.

"The queen, after giving birth to the princess, eloped with the Southerner she really loved. She left a letter to the king saying that her purpose for marrying him is accomplished. That she never loved him so now that she gave him an heir, he should set her free. The king thought she had learned to love him after all those years but in the end, she left him. He did not know how to take care of the child while running the kingdom. That is the real reason why he changed. He had to be strong enough to lead his people and protect his daughter from heartaches like that."

Bambam takes in the vague story I just said. I could have detailed it so he can understand more but for now, he only needs to know things generally. We have plenty of time to go through the hardships of their marriage and the forbidden love between the queen and the Southerner.

"Wait, but how do you know all of this?" he manages to make out a sensible question.

"Because the queen sent me to give the letter to the king. I was a child so of course, I got curious and read it first."

"Why would the queen give you the letter? And you couldn't have been able to read that, how old are you then?"

I look away, knowing that my next answers will shake him. "She taught me to read at a young age."

"She?" his voice is more confused than ever. "You mean the queen did?"

"Yes."

"How? She was gone then. If she eloped with the Southerner like you said, you couldn't have been able to meet her."

"Except, I was with her all the time."

"Why would you be with her?"

That is when I look at him. I want him to see how much courage it takes for me to admit such thing. Also how relieved I am that finally, I get to introduce myself as someone with an origin.

"Because I'm her child with the Southerner."

* * *

I knock on Bambam's room. He opens it with a smile. It has been a week since he married the queen. The treaty has been signed and the rebels are almost out of the city. The ministers have come back to the palace and the first council meeting will be held today.

"The queen is pregnant," I say.

Bambam blinks. He looks up to check the sun, probably thinking it's too early for me to knock on his door just to say a lame joke. "I'm sorry, I think I misheard what you just said."

"No. The queen is pregnant," I repeat.

Now his mouth opens in disbelief. "I didn't do anything!"

I want to chuckle at how defensive he got but there are more important matters to discuss. "I know the consummation never occurred. So there's only one person who could've been the father."

Bambam flushes. He is not thinking about the deed, is he?

"JB," he says in hush. He must be afraid that the dead will haunt him.

"Yes and he's dead now. The queen will have no one once you banish her."

Now he gives me his signature confused look. "Why will I banish her?"

"Because she had an affair with someone who is not her betrothed."

"I am also not her betrothed."

"But you're married to her now. So you must pass the judgement for her infidelity."

He eyes me warily. "Wait, I don't understand. You're telling me that she will have no one if I banish her but nonetheless banish her? What do you really want me to do?"

Thankfully, he asked the right question. I push past him so I can go in. This is another conversation the walls should not know about. Bambam follows me to the chair where we always talk. I have been visiting him the past few days to educate him about running the kingdom. I'm glad it isn't working smoothly because that's the plan. "I want you to appear confused of what to do."

"I really am confused. How does that solve anything?"

I lean so he would focus. The rules of the kingdom are quite simple if you have been studying about it for a while. "You're going to be in charge once she gets banished. If you show inability to lead, they will take the crown away from you and give it to the one next in line."

Bambam thinks hard. "But the only next in line is the unborn son of the queen."

That's right. With her husband unable, her parents dead, no siblings, and son still too young, no one else will be able to take the queen's position.

"Which means until the son is of age, the prime minister will govern."

Except there is me.

Bambam blinks again, this time it seems like he realised something instead of be confused of it. "You want the crown?"

I smile. If only it were that simple. "No. I want all of this to end."

* * *

The council meeting becomes a chaos after I tell them about the queen. She is also there and in utter shock of my revelation. She could not defend herself, even as Bambam stands up to tell them that the consummation has not happened yet so it is abhorrence to the crown. Bambam refuses to judge the queen because he still respects her as his wife. They ask me what to do then, being the next governing body, and I tell them the best thing that should be done.

Get her away from here.

"What does this mean, Youngjae?" The queen finally snaps back to her senses when I take her to the garden. She is frantic and I try to calm her down with my shushes. Just like what I always do when she's complaining about her etiquette lessons. She turns to me in frustration. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing," I smile at her but she isn't pleased. "Just let the years pass."

"Let the years pass for what? I'm not pregnant!"

"Shh!" I put a finger over my lip. She opens her mouth to say something but I interject. "No one can prove that."

"A physician can. Do you want me to call one and have my insides checked?"

"There's no need for that, Your Majesty. The news is a blessing to us."

She groans. "What is wrong with you? I do not understand what is happening! Why do you look so happy? I am being kicked from the throne. I am going to be living in the streets. Don't you dare tell me you are a traitor like Jinyoung too? I swear, Youngjae, I won't be able to handle it if it's you!"

She breaks down. I thought when she decided to marry Bambam and be the queen, she will change like her father. But I'm glad that she's too pure for that kind of spite. Inside her is a heart of gold that cares very deeply. The pain she has been through only made her more sensitive and protective of the ones she loves. It will never make her cruel.

I guide her to sit on the bench beside a bush of white roses. When she sees the flowers, she cries harder. I know about her meetings with JB here.

"I am not a traitor," I say each word firmly while holding her either shoulder.

She looks up to me, face tear-stained but still very adorable. Growing up, I never felt like I am younger than she is. She respects me and my knowledge so I respect her too. She keeps on asking me if I want to play with her even though she knows I will decline because it's time for my lessons. She just wants me not to feel outcast, not to feel alone. And for that, I want her to be happy.

"You have to trust me. The lie I made just now would seem like I want you to suffer but it's actually the opposite of that. You have to get away from the palace for awhile. I don't want you to be forced to rule with a broken heart, like what happened to your father."

She nods. I feel proud that the stubborn princess listens to me.

"When you're out there, remember this. Rule number one: do not show fear. In front of everyone, or anything, do not be intimidated. You are the queen, with the crown or not, and everyone believes the good in you. You don't have to be afraid."

Her eyes spark up at the familiarity of the words. "How did you know about that?"

I smile. "Rule number two: Find a place to stay.Do not worry; the people will not harm you. They will even be happy to help you. You are the princess who worked on removing the caste system, who gave up her freedom for everyone else's. Everyone will help you live."

"Youngjae, how did you know about these words?" she asks seriously but I continue.

"I will come to you when everything is on its proper place and when I know you're doing better. We need a secret word. I'll say it so you can prepare your comeback to the throne."

Her eyes soften. She seems tired of trying to figure out things. She sighs. "Do you have a word in mind?"

"Denouement," I say.

"Denouement," she repeats. "Doesn't that mean the end? Is the ending beautiful?"

"That's for you to find out, Your Majesty."

She looks down. "You don't have to call me that way anymore. I am neither a queen nor a princess. I'm just... me."

I stand up and ask for her hand. She holds onto me and let me guide her to the entrance of the labyrinth. She looks at me in confusion but I smile at her. "But to him, you are the moon that lights up the sky. You do not need a crown to be majestic. Being just you is what makes you shine."

I look forward so she can see who is coming out of the labyrinth. The wind rushes, making his appearance dreamlike. I feel my sister's hold tightening but instead of complaining, I sigh.

>  
> 
> _"Once the sun is lost, the tides will rise. When it swallows the clouds, you have to raise the ground. When all is back to how it is supposed to be, the stars have to be with the moon on its darkest hour. And when the sun comes back to the skies again, finally the eclipse shall come."_

 

Finally, the eclipse has come.

Like what Jinyoung had planned.

She lets go to run to him and the intensity of their collision makes me feel like they are trying to stick their broken pieces back together. His hands go to her hair, to the small of her back; he tries to touch all of her just to make sure that she is not some hallucination. That's what she does too. They aren't planning to release each other, afraid to be apart again.

"I love you," I hear her say softly but the impact to him is too much. He pulls away just to be able to see her face and she looks at him through the tears. "I am in love with you. I never told you that."

He does not answer in words but lets his feelings take over. He kisses her, not minding about the rest of the world. She lets herself melt in his arms until they are forced to withdraw and catch their breaths. Then they are back to reassuring themselves that this is not some delusion caused by all the trauma they are suffering. When they are satisfied, the questions flood.

"Jinyoung left the dagger," JB says before she can start. He knows very well that it will be her concern. At least that will assure her that he is really alive now.

She takes deep breaths. "My God, thankfully he's not knowledgeable about combats. If he pulled it out, you'll start losing a lot more blood and you couldn't have been saved."

JB smiles, proud that she remembers some combat knowledge he shared with her. But his face falls a little bit after. "No, love. He actually knows that."

"Huh?"

"I taught Jinyoung that when I gave him the dagger on his birthday. He left it in me on purpose."

She stops to think about what that means but finds no answer. "But why? Why would he want you to live?"

"Because he only needs to make it seem like I died. With you as witness of his betrayal and my blood all over the floor, everyone will be convinced I'm dead. But I wasn't. He didn't let me."

"But the burned body—"

"Isn't mine. He's probably one of their men. After he stabbed me, someone came in and took me away. Then that body was put there and Jinyoung set fire to it."

The princess looks at me instinctively when  _someone_  was mentioned. "Youngjae?" I nod at her to confirm. "But I don't understand."

"I know everything, Your Majesty," I finally get to admit. "From the very beginning, I know why the king holds grudges to the Southerners. Why no matter how persuasive their argument about the autonomy is, the king does not approve. I know about the rebellion coming from afar. I know about the Parks' involvement and I know how things would turn out. Strategies and plans fill my mind but one thing is for sure. This would end in chaos. So I decided to use the plans I know and create a master plan that would make everything go to how I want it."

JB stays silent as he already figured it out when I take him away from that room. Ever since, I have been keeping him inside the labyrinth, where I found my mother's hiding place some time ago. It is a small cottage with complete fixtures and a passage to the town outside.

"Tell us everything, Youngjae," she probes. "Why would Jinyoung want JB to live and why would Jackson kill him that way? I mean, sure we're all a distraught when we thought JB died but I don't think it will come to the point that Jackson will personally kill Jinyoung."

"And what about the king? I thought you were with him?" JB adds. He does not know about anything that happened after Jinyoung's fake assassination of him. I decide to answer his question.

"Jackson dealt with the king, like what the then princess had planned," I look at Her Majesty who does not seem remorseful of it. I am in no position to judge her though. "Then I told him about your apparent death. As expected, it was too much for him, and he took it out on Jinyoung."

"So this was whose plan now?" she asks.

"Jinyoung's.  _'Once the sun is lost, the tides will rise. When it swallows the clouds, you have to raise the ground. When all is back to how it is supposed to be, the stars have to be with the moon on its darkest hour. And when the sun comes back to the skies again, finally the eclipse shall come.'"_ I quote.

The both go very still as realization sinks in. Jinyoung purposely enraged Jackson, both by making it seem like he killed JB and by saying hurtful words, so the general would kill him. Then I have to talk to Bambam's father about Bambam taking Jinyoung's place in the wedding. Once she takes the crown, JB will return to be with her.

I had to make this happen.

Thankfully, I found a way.

"He's an idiot," this is the first time I hear her say something like that deliberately.

"You know how much he hates having to look kind," JB says in full understanding. No one can deny the fact that they have been good friends and they know each other well.

I look up at the sky. It's the magic hour. The time between the sun and the moon is really beautiful.

"You have to go," I tell them. I know they need time to be together and I also need to start working with the ministers about how we should rule the kingdom. "I promise to tell you everything in the right time. For now, you should go."

"What will happen to you?" she asks full of concern. "You're going to face all these responsibilities alone. If they find out I'm not really pregnant and you're lying for my sake—"

"Then get pregnant, Your Majesty," I tease and she instantly turns red. JB laughs before pulling her closer to him so he can give her another affectionate embrace. "I'm serious though. It will be a great help if you really get pregnant soon. Your son or daughter is still the next in line. I'm just filling for his or her position until he or she is ready."

"Don't worry, I'll try to relieve you from the stress of running the kingdom as soon as possible," JB meaningfully answers, making the queen groan in embarrassment.

We laugh for the last time and say our goodbyes through gazes. I look at my sister, who will never find out about our true connection, yet trusts and loves me like a brother already so it's not actually necessary. I look at JB who I know will keep her safe and happy. I can never be more relieved.

I give my sister a tight hug. I do not know when I will be seeing her again. She must be overwhelmed of everything that had happened today so she could only hug me back. It is better though because I do not want to cry from her heartfelt speeches. She likes doing that.

We smile at each other before I turn to JB.

"Take care of her," I tell him while shaking his hand. His eyebrows knit together upon feeling something in his hands. He withdraws from the handshake to look at what I am giving him. His eyes grow wide so I explain. "So you can really start anew."

He stares at it for a moment before putting it in his pocket. The queen does not seem to understand what that is about, as her eyes are ever so brightly twinkling at us.

"What's the code?" JB asks.

"It's for me to keep until I've fixed everything. I still have a lot of plans to execute so you have plenty of time to enjoy the bliss."

He nods at me and unexpectedly pulls me into a hug. "Thank you for everything, Youngjae."

"Thank you too," I can only say. This is the first time JB has showed affection to anyone except my sister. This battlefield had really changed everything.

I watch as they walk in the labyrinth hand in hand. I cannot help but remember a distant memory.

* * *

 

> _"Youngjae!" the familiar voice of my sister makes me look up from my book._
> 
> _"Your Highness," I greet back with a smile._
> 
> _It's funny calling her my sister in my mind, then 'Your Highness' out loud. My mother made me understand the situation before she sent me to the castle. I also read the letter she wanted me to give to the king. I know I have to hide my identity as an illegitimate child and I am very thankful to the king for keeping me. He must really love my mother to do such act._
> 
> _"Come play with me in the garden," the princess says with her eyes lit up. She has our mother's eyes. "I saw some dandelion somewhere in the maze. Let's blow them!"_
> 
> _"You went to the maze alone? You could've gotten lost."_
> 
> _No one goes inside that gigantic maze. Our mother told me that she loves it because she can hide there when she wants to escape her responsibilities._
> 
> _"Well, I wanted you to accompany me, but you're too busy with Jinyoung so I dragged JB. I wasn't alone," she assures._
> 
> _We all know JB will take care of her so I guess I do not have to worry._
> 
> _"I was just trying to be friendly with your fiancé since you're getting friendlier with the esquire," I explain my side._
> 
> _"Because JB is more fun than Jinyoung. I cannot sit all day and just read books. I need to go on adventures!"_
> 
> _She really is like our mother. I just hope her fate is not the same._
> 
> _"You can go on adventures by reading books too," I hand her the book I'm holding. Good thing I'm taking a break from political books and reading a fiction. I can indulge her. "Here, try this book I'm reading."_
> 
> _She takes it from me with a pout. She scans the page and stops at something. "How do you say this word?"_
> 
> _"Which one?" I look at where she is pointing. "Solace."_
> 
> _"Solace?"_
> 
> _"Yes. It kind of means 'safety' but something deeper than that. It's like having a sense of comfort because of something or someone. When you feel like all your problems went away, that's when you can say you have solace."_
> 
> _She goes into deep thought before finally smiling. "That's beautiful..."_
> 
> _"See? It's fun to read books because you learn a lot."_
> 
> _"But it's more fun when there is someone who will explain it rather than being alone wondering what it means in a sentence."_
> 
> _I smile. She does not fail to make me feel loved. I am glad that my sister turned out to be such a caring person. I never felt like an outcast even though I am a bastard. "Hm... you have a point. I also looked it up on a dictionary and studied its context in the sentence before I understood it."_
> 
> _"See? You're more diligent in extensive researching so you can do the reading then just teach it to me." She's just too convincing for her own good sometimes._
> 
> _"Only if you promise to be nicer to your fiancé. He wants to befriend you but cannot find any similar interest."_
> 
> _It's not that I'm trying to pry on her relationship with anyone. We are still young and things might change. I just want her to develop a connection with Park Jinyoung so that if the engagement forgoes, she will not find it as hard as our mother did. I saw how she struggled to fit in the simple life my father can only offer. She also died because of her status when she got sick. Hath she still be the queen then, she could've afford medication. I do not want my sister suffering the same._
> 
> _"Fine, fine. I have to get along with him soon anyway. Unless you can find a way to cancel the engagement. I can then say that solace has come."_
> 
> _I just shake my head with a smile. Cancelling the engagement does not really solve all the problems in the kingdom but neither does marrying someone you do not love anyway. If she will feel comfort in cancelling it though, maybe things will be better if I find a way._

* * *

And thankfully I did.

Now I can finally say that solace has, indeed, come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR SPARING ME SOME TIME WITH THIS STORY! All reactions are welcomed.


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